Empty the Bench

Don’t get us wrong, we get in the Halloween spirit as much as anyone.

We watch a lot of zombie movies, lots of twisted, bloody thrillers from Japan, and plenty of slasher films. My colleague Mr. Thell counts The Devil’s Rejects as one of his favorite horror movies; agreed, but the first chapter of Rob Zombie’s two-part terrorfest, House of 1,000 Corpses, is an entirely different beast that I can’t watch without having nightmares for weeks.

Another thing we can’t watch? Snickers’ horrifying new Halloween candy commercial, which has been running far too many times during the NFL Sunday and Monday Night Football broadcasts. What kind of sick dude in marketing dreamt this up? Somebody better check his or her background because they might have a Hannibal Lecter on their hands.

The video prompts a number of questions: What is that unholy Grey Gardens hellspawn? Why does she keep children in her dress? And why does she menacingly caress that woman’s face ever so gently?

We can only assume poor, wayward children who have the misfortune of trick or treating at her (it’s?) door have their souls stolen and are incorporated into her ghastly form.

Here’s the clip of an unsuspecting mom, who for some reason is shopping in a dingy, dimly-lit grocery store, finding herself face to face with the visage of evil. Terrifying, Snickers… absolutely terrifying.

Baseball mascots: all they want to do is entertain us with their zany antics. They don the oversized, uncomfortable costumes in the dead heat of the summer months and trot around stadiums across the country performing their oversized hearts out with the sole intention of lightening the spirits of child and working man alike. Their only payment is the smile on a child’s face and the roar of the crowd (well, that and a paycheck, but let’s not sully their craft with cold economics).

So why do we want to see them suffer? Why do we hate them so? Well, they’re kind of obnoxious. Kind of really obnoxious. And they look stupid. And they can be real jerks, too. And, in my experience, their playful distractions and pranks are often less-than-welcome. I mean, seriously guy, get out of my face with your plush butty dance. I’m trying to watch a game here. My team is getting their collective asses handed to them and I’m not exactly in the mood to play along with your game of keep away with my favorite hat. It’s cute, I get it, but you have no idea how close you are to spilling down those steps …

Anyways, here’s some footage of a mascot taking a nasty spill and maybe getting seriously injured.

Enjoy.

Every four years in the wake of the Winter Olympics the world is gripped with inexplicable enthusiasm for the sport of curling. If you’re not familiar with curling, it’s the one where people quietly take turns sliding heavy rocks over ice. It’s like a simpler version of shuffleboard. On ice! Yes, it’s pretty great – although this duo from Australia’s Today Show may be taking their enthusiasm just a bit too far …

Dolph Lundgren: the performer who puts all other performers to shame. To Russia!

We’re thrilled to once again play a small part in helping spread the word for a fantastic event hosted annually by the Make-A-Wish Foundation of Southern Florida.

For those planning to be in or around the Miami area this week, mark your calendars for Thursday, February 25, at 6pm for the Make-A-Wish Ultimate Sports Extravaganza & Auction, which will feature Miami Dolphins coaching legend Don Shula along with a host of celebrities and sports personalities from the Miami Heat, Miami Dolphins, Florida Marlins, Florida Panthers, and Miami Hurricanes.

Here’s more on the event from the press release:

The Make-A-Wish Ultimate Sports Extravaganza & Auction promises to be bigger and better than ever with Hall of Fame Coach Don Shula as Featured Guest. This star-studded evening will take place on Thursday, February 25, at the Westin Diplomat Resort & Spa beginning at 6pm. Now in its 17th season, this is the only charity event where coaches, players and, representatives from all of South Florida’s sports teams come together for one common goal. Guests will rub shoulders with local and national sports personalities and other A-list celebrities, while bidding on one-of-a-kind experiences and memorabilia in the Famed Live and Silent Auctions.

Tickets start at $250 are still available; to order, call 954-967-9474, ext. 318. For more information, visit the Make-A-Wish Foundation of Southern Florida website, head to their YouTube channel, or follow them on Twitter.

By: Zachariah Blott

I know it’s a bit belated, but I wanted to put together a few lists that show some logo trends in the NBA over time and some great logos in other sports. Enjoy!

Again, all of these logos are found at Chris Creamer’s SportsLogos.net.

See Also:
– NBA Logo Report Cards, Pt. 1
– NBA Logo Report Cards, Pt. 2
– NBA Logo Report Cards, Pt. 3

Trends From the 1940′s Into the 1970′s

Early logos tended to use ridiculous cartoons of the mascot playing the sport.

Atlanta Hawks 1969/70

Denver Nuggets, 1976-1981

Ft. Wayne Pistons, 1948-1957

Houston Rockets, 1971/72

Milwaukee Bucks, 1968-1993

New York Knicks, 1946-1964

Philadelphia Warriors, 1951-1962

Trends From the 1970′s

Teams used super simple shapes and colors, akin to construction paper cut-outs. Apparently they had time machines back then and consulted with the South Park creators to see what they would have done in middle school.

1974/75 All Star Game in Phoenix

Buffalo Braves, 1971-1978

Golden State Warriors, 1972-1975

Indiana Pacers, 1976-1990

Kansas City Kings, 1975-1985

New Jersey Nets, 1978-1990

New Orleans Jazz, 1974-1979

Philadelphia 76ers, 1963-1977

Phoenix Suns, 1968-1992

San Diego Clippers, 1978-1982

Washington Bullets, 1974-1987

More logo trends and awards from around sports, after the jump …

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Two personal firsts from a recent Friday night at Bangkok’s Lumpini Stadium for muay thai boxing. One, as you might imagine, was watching two wiry fighters without a trace of body fat stretched across their 102-pound frames pound away at each other’s midsections, calves, and faces in carefully delivered flurries of kicks, punches, and knees while I sat just a few feet away. The second was slightly less violent but no less jarring–sipping lukewarm Chang beer not from a cool, frosty mug, or even a thin plastic cup, but rather through a straw from a plastic bag with little handles.

Hey, with the humidity rising with each successive bout and bloodthirsty mosquitos nipping at my ankles as we watched from our almost-ringside seats, that beer-in-a-bag couldn’t have been any more refreshing. Chang Draught is, actually, served at Lumpini in plastic cups, but we instead took turns ducking back out into the street and buying our brews from a vendor at more than half the price. That’s where the bags came into play: you aren’t allowed to bring beer cans or bottles into the stadium, but beer in a plastic bag? Mai pen rai (“no problem”).

Lumpini Stadium is located in the Pathumwan section of Bangkok on busy Rama IV Road, where old, overheating buses dumping plumes of thick black smoke in their wake compete with taxis, tuk-tuks, and fearless (read: no helmets) men and women on motorbikes for a spot in traffic gridlock hell. The stadium is about an hour walk from our apartment on Petchaburi Road, but on that night we decided to pay the 25 Baht fare to ride the BTS Skytrain from Siam Square to Sala Daeng station, then walked it from there. From Sala Daeng it’s a brisk 30-minute or so trek down Rama IV, past the sidewalk restaurants-come-beer gardens bordering Lumpini Park and the sprawling, touristy Suan Lum Night Market.

We scoped out the scene one week earlier and were prepared for the smiling, English-speaking touts positioned out front offering to help purchase your admission tickets. They’re absolutely harmless, but there’s simply no need to risk paying more than you should or of perhaps being sold a counterfeit ticket that won’t be accepted at the door by the ragtag security team. As of January 2009, tickets for farang (a general Thai term for foreigners of Western descent) run 1,000 Baht for third-class, 1,500 for second, and 2,000 for ringside; Thais will pay significantly less. Most foreigners opt for the priciest tier, but we went with the second-class, where we enjoyed stellar vantage points from our seats on the long, rickety wooden benches that circle Lumpini Stadium.

And what an atmospheric setting this old Bangkokian gem provides for fight night.

Much more from Muay Thai fight night at Bangkok’s Lumpini Stadium after the break…

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Do you spray it, lay it, and spread it on smooth? Have a talent for airbrushing fanciful horses on the side of vans? Identify with Mark Corrigan when he expresses his uncertain feelings for Alan Johnson? Well sir, this Bud’s most definitely for you!

Wow. I had no idea Starcraft is such a massive phenomena in Korea. And I have no clue what the announcers are saying, but they’re flipping out. The sheer intensity is palpable; the fierce competitors sweating bullets (The loser has his mouse hand removed. Probably). Check the crowd at the 29 second mark, they’re going wild! It’s packed in there, and they even have signs and balloons!

NASCAR Coach Reveals Winning Strategy: ‘Drive Fast’