Empty the Bench

Baseball mascots: all they want to do is entertain us with their zany antics. They don the oversized, uncomfortable costumes in the dead heat of the summer months and trot around stadiums across the country performing their oversized hearts out with the sole intention of lightening the spirits of child and working man alike. Their only payment is the smile on a child’s face and the roar of the crowd (well, that and a paycheck, but let’s not sully their craft with cold economics).

So why do we want to see them suffer? Why do we hate them so? Well, they’re kind of obnoxious. Kind of really obnoxious. And they look stupid. And they can be real jerks, too. And, in my experience, their playful distractions and pranks are often less-than-welcome. I mean, seriously guy, get out of my face with your plush butty dance. I’m trying to watch a game here. My team is getting their collective asses handed to them and I’m not exactly in the mood to play along with your game of keep away with my favorite hat. It’s cute, I get it, but you have no idea how close you are to spilling down those steps …

Anyways, here’s some footage of a mascot taking a nasty spill and maybe getting seriously injured.

Enjoy.

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