Empty the Bench

- Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the Ineptitude Bowl is … The Buffalo Bills!

It looked like the Browns were going to pull this one out midway through the 4th, as Mangenius stood by the strict edict to his quarterback to not complete passes. Derek Anderson started the fourth quarter with a 4.9 QB Rating before going on an inadvertent tear to finish the game with a 15.1 QB Rating. In all, he went 2-for-17 for 23 yards, good for 1.4 yards per attempt. Yes, he completed two passes all day. Brass balls.

The move caught Dick Jauron (pictured right, in a fetching khaki pants-and-fishing hat ensemble) completely off guard, but never underestimate the capacity of a Jauron-led team to execute a late-game loss. The Bills upped the ante by punting 7 times (thrice in the fourth), throwing a pick, turning it over on downs twice and then, in a final stroke of genius, refusing to accept a punt with 3 minutes left. They just left it on the field, daring the Browns to reclaim it.

Smart losing football.

The win snapped an impressive 4-game losing streak for the Browns, but you better believe Mangini will have his squad ready to start another streak against the Steelers this Sunday. Speculation here is that Mangini and Anderson work on ways to take more sacks. You can’t complete passes you don’t throw.

Thank goodness they made that draft-pick trade with the Jets. This team has absolutely no use for a guy like Mark Sanchez.

Dick Jauron photo credit: Icon SMI

- So, the Bengals and their division-leading 4-1 record are a big storyline to this point in the season, but people are reluctant to jump on board, myself included. The story is not going to go away anytime soon though, as Cincinnati has three home games in a row coming up, have already swept the division and Carson Palmer hasn’t even gotten going yet – which he will.

- Speaking of unlikely division leaders, nobody saw the 5-0 Broncos coming. Nobody. I threw down on the Pats giving the Broncos 3.5 points and considered it a sure thing, so I should have learned my lesson, but I still don’t buy this team. I will say this, though. When you put your balls on the table like Josh McDaniels did this offseason, refusing to back down to your superstar young quarterback and receiver and coming out on top, well, you officially have the ears of every man in that locker room.

- Still, good God, what were the Broncos wearing on Sunday? 11 of those brown and yellow pant/sock combos running around the field at once was like something Willy Wonka would have conceived of in his darker moments. As Yahoo!’s Andy Behrens put it, “If we’ve exhausted all other throwback options, then let’s just please agree to dress our professional athletes as modern humans from now on … We’ll make every effort to warn you next time, and provide instructions for making a pinhole device for safe viewing. ”

- Taking the brown segue and running with it, James Brown’s moustache looks like a caterpillar crawled onto his face and got sleepy halfway across. And I can’t stop staring at it whenever he’s on the screen.

- The NFL.com statistics are a little fuzzy on this, but it appears Brett Favre recorded his first reception since 1992 against the Rams. We knew the lil’ slugger could do it if he just hung in there long enough. That has to be some kind of record, right? Going 17 years between NFL receptions? The strike went for -2 yards, bringing the wideout up to -7 receiving yards in his illustrious career. We can excuse the modest production in the receiving game, because Favre completed 18 of his 24 pass attempts, and is on pace for a career-high in completion percentage (69.1%, third in the NFL) and QB Rating (104.1, fourth in the league) and a career-low in interceptions (2 on the season). Seems like he’s taking to the game manager role just fine.

- Continuing with the Vikes, Adrian Peterson is fine, but this offense is significantly more balanced than anybody anticipated and it’s sapping his fantasy value. He’s no longer required to live up to his All Day moniker. That doesn’t mean it’s time to sell though, his time will come.

Ten more quick slants heading into the NFL’s Week 6, after the jump …

- Chris Collinsworth isn’t so bad. He’s a bit of a whiny dweeb, but I learn more from him than I learned from John Madden in recent years. I know such a declaration is sacrilege in some quarters, but it’s the truth. Madden NFL Football is still way better than Lee Carvallo’s Putting Challenge, though.

- I don’t ever remember seeing this many dreadful teams. The Rams, Bucs, Lions, Redskins, Chiefs, Raiders, Titans, Browns and Bills are dreadful, just dreadful. Difficult to watch TV in all nine NFL cities.

Despite having one win to their credit, Oakland has been especially bad of late in being outscored 96-16 in the last three games. Giants ‘backer Antonio Pierce said Sunday’s game was more like a scrimmage than a live NFL game, and anybody who watched the contest can only raise their eyebrows and nod in comprehension.

- David Carr > JaMarcus Russell.

- The Giants have two starting RBs in Ahmad Bradshaw and Brandon Jacobs. As we said a few weeks ago:

Ahmad Bradshaw looks like a future household name. The kid is explosive out of the backfield, averaging over 6 yards per carry for his career. He runs hard and shows good burst and instincts, now he just needs to improve in the passing game and get an opportunity. I’ve got a gut feeling that his chance to shine will come this season. Brandon Jacobs‘ running style and body make me nervous, but even if Jacobs stays healthy Bradshaw’s productivity as a No. 2 on his team may just be good enough to qualify as your RB2 or RB3 in the bye weeks.

After the Raiders game, where Bradshaw seemed to take advantage of every hole opened up by his line and leave no yards on the field while Jacobs continued plodding along, he may already be better than Jacobs in real life – and soon be in fantasy. Bradshaw has to be started as a RB3 going forward unless your RB corps is extremely deep.

- Why is Chris Brown still getting goal-line carries? Gah!

- Somebody needs to double-check Andre Johnson’s birth certificate, that dude is not from this planet.

- Ray Rice is for real. That TD reception was 12% Flacco, 88% Rice. Ok, maybe the Bengal’s tackling unit deserves 20% of the credit, too. Rice led the Ravens in both rushing and receiving, finishing with 143 total yards. He’s the clear No. 1 there now, and all the hand-wringing about a rejuvenated Willis McGahee can officially cease, even if he retains a big chunk of the goal-line carries.

- Sell Clinton Portis. Now.

- Troy Aikman quoted Todd Haley saying that Mike Vrabel is “better than any tight end we have on the roster.” Are you going to sit there and take that, Sean Ryan? Yeah, I guess you’re right, those 9 career TD receptions are hard to argue with.

- Tony Siragusa on Mike Singletary: “He sweats intensity.” Ok.