Empty the Bench

The day belonged to the Detroit Lions.

Brett Favre and Greg Lewis were brilliant in their miraculous, game-saving hookup in the back of the endzone that gave the Vikings a dramatic 27-24 win over the San Francisco 49ers and a 3-0 record to start the season. Maurice Jones-Drew broke out for one of the year’s biggest fantasy days in racking up 147 total yards and 3 TDs against the abominable Houston Texans defense. And the New York Giants, New Orleans Saints, and, yes, the New York Jets all remained undefeated and further established themselves as serious contenders. (The Saints, especially, are looking scary.)

But we’ve come to expect late-game heroics from Favre. We know that Jones-Drew is an elite fantasy running back. The Giants won a Super Bowl just two years ago, the Saints have boasted one of the league’s most high-powered offenses ever since Drew Brees came to town, and the Jets… well, that one actually is a surprise, but not as significant a shock as a Detroit Lions victory.

Say it with me, Lions fans, and let it fully sink in: a Detroit Lions victory.

Savor it like a bottle glass of fine South American Malbec after a long day at the office. Celebrate it like Kool & The Gang. And live up to your reputation, Detroiters: riot in the streets! Tear down vacant buildings! Burn cars! TERRORIZE! Just kidding.

In the wake of this momentous occasion, I don’t want to hear about how bad the Washington Redskins are (even though they are pretty terrible); I want to hear about how much better this Detroit Lions team is than last year’s version. About how the organization is making strides towards respectability, about how the team is learning from their mistakes and has so far gotten better week over week, about the dedicated, underrated fan base that’s stuck with this team through decades of ineptness and shook Ford Field with thunderous applause when the final score was settled. ETB commenter BRS was at the game:

Even though Ford Field was only 2/3 full, the noise at the end of the game was deafening. You would think we had just won the Super Bowl. I can’t imagine what it would be like if we ever host or actually win a playoff game. As a longtime Lions fan, it was just nice to see them finally win. It’s only one game, but hopefully it’s a step in the right direction. I did see some signs of mediocrity returning. I long for the glory days of 9-7 and 8-8. All kidding aside, GO LIONS!!!

The Lions have taken, and earned, their fair share of punches while going an imperfect 0-19 over the past 2+ seasons. They’ve become a pop-culture phenomenon, a running joke that even non-football fans understand and laugh at. Well, guess what: the Lions aren’t the worst team in the NFL anymore. Not by a long shot. (See St. Louis Rams, Cleveland Browns, Kansas City Chiefs, Tampa Bay Bucaneers…). They have, as owner William Clay Ford so aptly put it on Sunday, “not only got the monkey off [their] back, [they] got King Kong off [their] back.”

Oh, there’s still plenty of room for improvement, not to mention player talent. The secondary is still one of the league’s worst, as Santana Moss proved in catching 10 passes for 178 yards and a long 57-yard touchdown. The pass rush is still sporadic at best (1 sack on Sunday), and the offense still relies far too heavily on kicker Jason Hanson to put points on the board.

We’re seeing some things in Detroit that we haven’t seen in some time, though. Passion. Play-making. Effective blocking on the offensive line, penetration from the defensive line. Sure-handed tackling from the linebackers. Compelling, if not innovative, play-calling from the sideline. A quarterback with balls.

How many more games will this team win this season? Who knows… but for a few days, at least, a more appropriate question is this: who fucking cares? The Lions won a regular-season game for the first time since December 23, 2007, and as pathetic as it might sound, the 19-14 win over the Washington Redskins is an achievement for a long-suffering franchise and fan base that should be relished all week long.

Possibly Related Content:

1. Week 4 Monday Morning Hangover, Where It’s Time to Call It a Day on JaMarcus Russell


2. Week 5 Monday Morning Hangover, Where Miles Austin Goes Apeshit on the Chiefs


3. Week 1 Monday Morning NFL Hangover, Starring Jake Delhomme Running for His Life


4. Lions Win! Lions Win! Lions Win!


5. Week 1 Monday Morning NFL Hangover, Where the Cincinnati Bungles Get Creative