Empty the Bench

By: Zachariah Blott

I’ll start where fellow ETB columnist Brendan K. O’Grady left off last week when the Memphis Grizzlies traded for Zach Randolph; they are stupid.

Randolph is quite possibly the worst locker room/team chemistry guy in the NBA today. He demands the ball no matter who is on the team, points fingers after losses, punched and injured a teammate in 2003, famously feuded with Nate Robinson on the bench during games in New York, and is an organizational nightmare off the court (multiple lawsuits, guns, drugs, gangs, DUI’s, crazy sexual assault accusation in 2007, and time in juvie back in HS for stealing guns).

He’s as saintly as Kwame Kilpatrick.

Regardless of his ability to consistently put 20 and 10 on a stat sheet, Randolph is not the type of guy you want anywhere near players not heavily involved in Bible study groups. He is the “people” someone’s talking about when they say, “so-and-so got mixed up with the wrong people.” You get the idea; trading for Randolph is a surefire way to either upset teammates or to find out how easily they are swayed to the Dark Side.

For starters, Wallace is nuts for trading for a guy who guarantees headaches to everyone and has never been responsible for a team’s improvement in the win column. And, now, Wallace and owner Mike Heisley are scheming to add Allen Iverson of all people into the mix too. Um… what?

Quick history on Grizzlies GM Chris Wallace before last week. Last year he traded the franchise’s best player ever, Pau Gasol, for… well, basically the rookie rights of Marc Gasol and a couple late first-round draft picks. Seriously? You can stop reading here and realize how inept Wallace is at making a team competitive—unless that team is the Lakers–or swinging a well-balanced trade.

Before he was found ripping apart the moral fabric of Grizzly Nation (all 472 of ‘em), Wallace acted as James Buchanan to Danny Ainge’s Abe Lincoln during Boston’s lowly pre-KG days. Part of Ainge’s brilliance at the helm of the Celtics is that he looks really good following up the pitifully topsy-turvy status of the team during Wallace’s years.

More on the “brilliant” offseason in Memphis after the break…

So what other tricks has Wallace been up to in the past week to further push this club’s journey south? He somehow figured out a way to get in on the Shawn Marion deal. How’d he do? Memphis gives up Greg Buckner, a defensive specialist (his 2007 summer camp was actually called “Greg Buckner Defender Camp Tour ’07”) who is a great character guy, and received a second-round pick in 2016 (what?). In a wash, they also got Jerry Stackhouse and the cash to buy out his contract. Go crazy Grizzlies fans!

Wallace thankfully renounced the rights to Randolph’s near knucklehead equal, Darius Miles, but then the Grizzlies jump into this Iverson business. You may remember Iverson as the player who dislikes practice, most coaches, most passes that aren’t to him, coming off the bench, and not being The Guy. He’s sadly become somewhat of a one-trick pony who lost his trick, no longer quick enough at 34 to be the formidable speedster who once caused serious problems for opposing defenders. And he can’t shoot. Dear God.

If you think he’ll be deferring to O.J. Mayo, Rudy Gay, or Mike Conley, think again. If you think Iverson will defer to Randolph, no. And Randolph getting Iverson and the gang involved? Uh, no.

This is what’s called a train wreck.

So here’s where Wallace has the Grizzlies if the Iverson and Randolph deals both go down. They have a young, talented frontcourt in Rudy Gay, Marc Gasol, and Hakim Warrick. All three have kept their noses clean and understand their roles. Hamed Haddadi is huge and has great averages in limited minutes (2.5 rebounds and 0.6 blocks in only 6 minutes a game, and he shoots 48%). Darrell Arthur could be a player. I’m counting on Hasheem Thabeet, who had nary a good game against actual good opponents, to be a bust. Randolph is more than enough to rip this group of youngsters apart.

I can’t be real happy with the guard situation Wallace has put together. OJ Mayo is a head case with poor shot selection (44%, same as in college) and poor distribution numbers (3.2-2.8 ast-TO, almost the same as in college). He’s always been considered a go-to star, so good luck getting him to work on these areas. In addition, Mayo shot worse, rebounded less, and turned the ball over more as the season went along.

Point guard Mike Conley is super quick and showed improvement this past season. Marko Jaric plays 11 minutes a game, can’t shoot, and makes $15 million over the next two seasons. I can’t think of anything positive Iverson’s “leadership” would impart to this unit.

If you’re a Grizzlies fan, I’m truly sorry that Wallace is steering your ship. Right now you could have Pau Gasol, Kevin Love, Gay, and Warrick in the paint. Add in sharpshooter Mike Miller, Conley, the suddenly improved Kyle Lowry, a top-five pick guard selection (Harden, Curry, Evans), and a decent rookie at the 36 spot (Jodie Meeks, DeJuan Blair, still Sam Young) and you actually have something resembling a team. And you’d have plenty of cash to pursue a big-name free agent or lopsided trade.

At least Randolph (and maybe Iverson too) will keep the Memphis beat reporters busy.

Zachariah Blott is an English teacher in Portland, not an Amish Charles Dickens character.

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- Trading for Zach Randolph a New Low for Memphis Grizzlies

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