Empty the Bench

Amare Stoudemire, Steve Nash, Steve Kerr, and Phoenix Suns fans at large, come on down: you’re the next in line to be ridiculed and thrown under the bus by Shaquille O’Neal.

There’s little in O’Neal’s childish history as an (un)professional basketball player to anticipate otherwise: he’s wasted no time in burning bridges and spouting off about his former franchises and teammates in Orlando, Los Angeles, and Miami after moving on, so it’s only a matter of time before Phoenix feels the petulant wrath of O’Neal now that he’s been sent to the Cleveland Cavaliers. My money is on Stoudemire and Kerr taking the initial brunt of O’Neal’s blame for his lack of success in Phoenix, but everybody’s fair game when it comes to the big man’s finger-pointing and public dress-downs.

Of course, we’ve already spent a great deal of time outlining our thoughts on O’Neal and his unapologetically jackass persona, so for now I digress.

From a strictly basketball standpoint, we have one GM stepping up and doing what it takes to push his already deep team further into contention, and the other GM waving the white flag of financial surrender. For Cleveland, Danny Ferry has obviously fortified his frontline by adding a perfect compliment to incumbent starter Zydrunas Ilgauskas. Neither O’Neal nor Big Z seem capable of heavy minutes at this point in their respective careers, so this works out well for both. When the Cavs want to go finesse and stretch the floor with a big who can shoot, they go with Big Z; when they need to hunker down and pit brawn vs. brawn, they insert O’Neal.

It’s a win-win scenario for Cleveland, who’s only on the hook for one more season of O’Neal’s bloated contract. This also sets up the storyline you’ll soon get tired of hearing about: the possibility of the old Superman facing the new Superman in the 2010 Eastern Conference Finals.

As for Phoenix, my colleague Andrew Thell aptly observed earlier tonight that “Steve Kerr is really taking that franchise places.” He’s right–down a blackhole of no return. This notoriously cheap franchise seems to have two priorities this offseason: shedding salary (Stoudemire is being actively shopped) and extending Steve Nash. Does having an aging, defensively challenged, white point guard leading the team towards sub-mediocrity sell more tickets than a roster with real hopes for postseason success? I guess we’ll find out.

Rejoice, Cavaliers fans: your team just added a first-ballot Hall of Famer whose presence in the middle no doubt makes your team the East’s clear-cut favorite to advance to the NBA Finals next season. Enjoy it while it lasts, though, because you’re next on O’Neal’s bash list.

Related Reading:
- Shaquille O’Neal Cements His Legacy
- Does Anybody Personify Petulance More Than Shaquille O’Neal?
- The NBA’s Most Depressing Players of 2008
- Shaquille O’Neal Still Keeping it Classy
- Shaq Likes to Breathe Heavily Into His Cell Phone