Empty the Bench

Vince Carter, G, New Jersey Nets

The rest of the players on our list are but footnotes to the King of Depressing Players, Mr. Vince Carter. It goes far beyond his on-court performance, the lack of substantially positive results his teams have met with over the years, and the individual accolades and reputation he’s accrued over the years for being what many consider a primetime scorer. No, it’s much deeper than that, and to find it all you have to do is look into the man’s eyes during a random Tuesday or Wednesday night regular-season game… especially when his moribund New Jersey Nets are playing a, say, Charlotte Bobcats or Milwaukee Bucks.

They say the eyes are a window into the soul, and if that’s true, we see a broken man when we see VC. And folks, we don’t tune into the revered NBA League Pass on a nightly basis to watch broken men put up 25 points in a losing effort on a bad team. It ruins our night, sucks the flavor out of our take-out sushi, and turns our red wine into sour, syrupy goo.

The last man standing in New Jersey from the old “Big Three,” VC and the Nets are tied at the hip for the foreseeable future after they gave him a ludicrous contract extension that’ll pay him $48.8 million the next three seasons, with a team option for $18 million in 2011. Unless they give Kevin McHale a call up in Minnesota, that basically equates to an untradeable contract. It was a desperate move by a desperate franchise that’s made exactly one good move–trading Jason Kidd for a package headlined by Devin Harris–in a long time. If LeBron doesn’t come in 2010… oh, we cringe at the thought. It’s just too depressing to think about a team led by VC in his mid-30s.

Ben Wallace, C, Cleveland Cavaliers

He should have finished out his career in Detroit for less money; the precipitous decline in his once-famous across-the-board stat-stuffing from the moment he donned that Chicago Bulls jersey for the first time would have been a lot easier to stomach. Instead, we’re left with this version of Ben Wallace, the 25th highest-paid player in the NBA (he makes more than teammate LeBron James, for one). He’s a man who’s seen his per-game averages in rebounds, steals, and blocks–the three categories he staked his reputation on during those All-Star years with the Pistons–fall off a cliff. Oh, he’s also scoring even less than he used to… and we’re talking about a career 6.4 point/per player here.

Of course, Big Ben is also playing less, too, but that’s because he’s simply not nearly as effective overall at doing all the small things exceptionally well as he used to be. At 34 years old, there’s just not much left in the tank, and every time that famous Big Ben gong sounds in Cleveland, it’s more a sad reminder of what used to be than anything else. An undrafted underdog out of Virginia Union, Wallace won a NBA title and a slew of Defensive Player of the Year awards to go along with those All-Star selections. For a six-year stretch, he was the face of one of the NBA’s most successful franchises. Seeing him now fighting for playing time with the likes of Anderson Varejao is something we’d rather not endure.

More of the NBA’s most depressing players after the jump…

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- True Blue Jazz – The Blogger Power Rankings roll on to Week 4; Lakers remain on top.
- The Hoop Doctors – It’s up for discussion, but our take is that Shaq deserved the ejection.
- Spurs Report – And hey, speaking of dirty players, how about that Bruce Bowen?
- Bust a Bucket – Maybe what Greg Oden needs most is some room to breathe.
- Red’s Army – Rajon Rondo’s scoring (and shooting) drought has some worried.
- The Sports Culture – NBA prospect Brandon Jennings is doing just fine over in Rome.
- SLC Dunk – A slightly biased, yet quite thoroughly detailed anatomy of the traveling call.
- Rumors and Rants – J.J. Redick, still whining and badly sucking for the Orlando Magic.
- Brew Hoop – A few reasons why the Milwaukee Bucks aren’t (yet) in last place.
- MLive.com – Some publicity for something ‘Sheed wants no publicity for.

- Detroit Free Press – Chauncey Billups: “Lack of respect for Flip Saunders cost us a title.”
- Ball Don’t Lie – Rod Benson’s top six tips for thriving overseas in the Euro leagues.
- HoopsHype – Manu Ginobili thinks he still has at least 6 seasons left in him.
- Star Tribune – Forget putting Randy Wittman on the hot seat–just fire the guy already.
- Brownie Troop 666 – A successful day of surfcasting for Mr. Mickey Melchiando.
- HOOPSWORLD – Thoughts on the Pistons’ 106-95 drubbing of the LA Lakers Friday night.
- You Got Dunked On – Alright, we admit it: we’re absolute suckers for a Gerald Green dunk.
- Blazer’s Edge – Three decades and counting for the Portland Trail Blazers and their fans.
- Basketbawful – Part 1 of what will be a year-long series of the “Yao Watch.”
- Stop Mike Lupica – Not basketball-related, but something you need to watch.
- NBA Blog Squad – Catching up with Flea’s always deep thoughts on the Lakers.
- Basketball.org – About that dinner with Kevin Johnson and Reggie Miller back in 1987…
- Truth About It – JaVale McGee is ready to join the Wizards starting lineup? Not so fast.
- Larry Brown Sports – Baron Davis and the LA Clippers are off to a wonderful start.
- Canis Hoopus – Does an athlete’s political views matter to you? Why or why not?

Though Michael Jordan has since surrendered his throne to Peyton Manning, there was once a time when MJ ruled the advertising world as the athlete most likely to appear in a product endorsement. Oh, we still see him from time to time in Hanes commercials and such, but nothing even close to the saturation level it reached during the height of his playing days. By my count he still stands as the most marketable (and marketed) athlete in sports history, and I suspect it’s only a matter of time before he starts popping up in LifeAlert and other age-appropriate product ads, too.

Jordan’s unrepentant mission to sell his soul in exchange for a few more dollars to deposit in his multi-billion dollar banking account aside, this Gentle-Treatment shampoo ad from 1986 is, quite simply, amazing.

(A hearty ETB hat tip to I Love This Game 2.0 for the find.)

Related Reading:
- Production Budget Low: A Video Homage to Local Market NBA Commercials
- The World Would Be a Better Place If All Grocery Stores Employed a Chicken Man…

When it comes to fantasy football matchups, there are opposing defenses you’re 95% certain will be exploited for bountiful fantasy points by studs and borderline starters alike. Then there are defenses, like the one currently being trotted out there by the winless Detroit Lions, that are simply gargantuan sieves whose potential to surrender a massive haul for your team cannot be denied.

And so is this case this week for owners of just about any relevant skill player on the Carolina Panthers.

The Lions defense, which is giving up over 30 points a week (only the Rams are worse at 31.3), is simply atrocious. They’re allowing an average of 161.2 rushing yards (31st overall) and 244.9 passing yards (29th overall) per. Detroit’s “defense” has recorded two interceptions all season long (two!) and just 17 sacks. Last week they allowed Maurice Jones-Drew to score 3 TDs, and opposing quarterbacks are regularly setting career-best marks in efficiency and QB Rating.

They’re playing with little-to-no pride, and worst of all a few players don’t even seem to care. They’re patsies, especially on defense, and should be taken advantage of every week. That’s why you’ll see Jake Delhomme, DeAngelo Williams, Steve Smith, Muhsin Muhammad, and the Carolina DEF ranked higher than normal. Williams and Smith, especially, should go bonkers on Sunday. In general, the position ranks are pretty aggressive this week, but hey, that’s what you come to us for, right?

The NY Jets travel to the New England to take on the Patriots tonight; set your lineups accordingly.

Fantasy Week 11 – Top 20 Quarterbacks

1. Drew Brees, New Orleans Saints @ KC
2. Kurt Warner, Arizona Cardinals @ SEA
3. Jay Cutler, Denver Broncos @ ATL
4. Donovan McNabb, Philadelphia Eagles @ CIN
5. Peyton Manning, Indianapolis Colts vs. HOU
6. Philip Rivers, San Diego Chargers @ PIT
7. Tony Romo, Dallas Cowboys @ WSH
8. Brett Favre, New York Jets @ NE
9. Matt Ryan, Atlanta Falcons vs. DEN
10. Jake Delhomme, Carolina Panthers vs. DET
11. Aaron Rodgers, Green Bay Packers vs. CHI
12. Eli Manning, New York Giants vs. BAL
13. Tyler Thigpen, Kansas City Chiefs vs. NO
14. Chad Pennington, Miami Dolphins vs. OAK
15. Matt Cassel, New England Patriots vs. NYJ
16. Brady Quinn, Cleveland Browns @ BUF
17. Ben Roethlisberger, Pittsburgh Steelers vs. SD (Check Status)
18. Jason Campbell, Washington Redskins vs. DAL
19. Trent Edwards, Buffalo Bills vs. CLE
20. Jeff Garcia, Tampa Bay Bucs vs. MIN

Rest of the Week 11 fantasy football ranks after the break…

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The Five Worst Teams in the Western Conference:
5) The Memphis Grizzlies
4) The Minnesota Timberwolves
3) The Sacramento Kings
2) The Oklahoma City Thunder
1) The Los Angeles Clippers

It’s sometimes more difficult to rank the bottom of the pack than it is the top. When teams like the Lakers or Hornets or Jazz come out and consistently perform at a high level, you know what you’re going to get. The rotations are consistent, you know the key players involved, most starters are in the prime of their careers, you’ve seen them in every situation and you know what they can do. But when you’re looking at a young roster like Memphis or Minnesota or Sacramento there’s a lot of guess work involved. Just how good can Spencer Hawes and Jason Thompson be? Is Kevin Martin a great player on a bad team or is he just stuffing stats in losing affairs? That’s why this Worst Teams in the Western Conference series is far from scientific – there’s plenty of room for debate.

That said, ETB humbly submits the Sacramento Kings as the third-worst team in the Western Conference. Like a lot of teams here they could get better in a hurry and they’re still very fun to watch. If you want to keep up with Sacramento check in with our man Tom Ziller on his excellent blog Sactown Royalty.

The Sacramento Kings

2007-08 Record: 38-44, 11th in the West
2008-09 Salary: $69,388,269

The Good:

Every team has a leader, even the very bad ones. We detailed forwards Rudy Gay and Al Jefferson for Memphis and Minnesota, and in Sacramento it’s unquestionably shooting guard Kevin Martin. He’s an electric scorer with a lightning-quick first step who can take it to the hole but also possesses one of the sweetest mid-range strokes in the NBA. Entering his fifth season, Martin has improved dramatically in each of his first four campaigns, finishing last season at 23.7 points per game. As a 25-year-old K-Mart is just entering the prime of his career and Sacramento has him signed through 2013 at a very reasonable salary.

Brad Miller has been serviceable for years, but the future in Sactown up front is the young duo of Jason Thompson and Spencer Hawes (a Republican in a decidedly pro-Obama NBA). In fact, it was the absence of Miller while he served a five-game suspension for a banned substance that allowed us to see just how much potential the pair have. The 20-year-old Hawes, Sacramento’s lottery pick in 2007, has come alive after a very quiet rookie campaign. He’s shown the potential to consistently log double-doubles with plenty of steals and blocks mixed in. And we knew the kid had range, but nobody expected the seven-footer to lead the NBA in three-point shooting percentage for the first few weeks of the season. Meanwhile, rookie Jason Thompson has looked impressive in his own right. At 6-11 he also has a strong offensive repertoire with good range and plays with energy underneath.

It really makes you wonder why Mikki Moore, a supreme turd, is still in the starting lineup.

(Hat tip on the video to AOL Fanhouse)

Here’s the real hope in Sacramento though: the summer of 2010 and beyond. At the conclusion of the 2009-10 season the following contracts come off the books: Brad Miller ($12.25 million), Kenny Thomas ($8.55 million), Mikki Moore ($6.21 million), and potentially the retired Shareef Abdur-Rahim ($6.6 million, if his contract doesn’t come off after this season).

Between expiring contracts and player options the following players could be available that summer: Joe Johnson, Manu Ginobili, Marcus Camby, Tracy McGrady, Mike Miller, Rip Hamilton, Amare Stoudemire, LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, Chris Bosh, Dirk Nowitzki, Josh Howard, Michael Redd, Tyson Chandler, Travis Outlaw, T.J. Ford, Amir Johnson, Anderson Varejao and more. Oh, and let’s not forget the 2006 draft class. These guys will become restricted free agents if their teams can’t ink an extension before then: Brandon Roy, Rudy Gay, LaMarcus Aldridge, Andrea Bargnani, Rajon Rondo, Tyrus Thoms, Randy Foye, Josh Boone, Sergio Rodriguez and Ronnie Brewer. Portland, whatcha gonna do?

2010 will be the richest free-agent crop in years and the Kings should be major players. Throw in their two lottery picks from the next two summers and you have plenty of cause for patience. If you believe in the trio of Martin, Hawes and Thompson – well, then you have plenty of reason for optimism.

What’s not going right in Sacramento after the jump…

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The Five Worst Teams in the Western Conference:
5) The Memphis Grizzlies
4) The Minnesota Timberwolves
3) The Sacramento Kings
2) The Oklahoma City Thunder
1) The Los Angeles Clippers

With the season getting under way ETB is taking time to check in with the bottom feeders of the Western Conference. As a combination of freezing rain and snow turns to ice on the fertile ground of our Midwest, we present to you the Minnesota Timberwolves: my hometown squad and the fourth-worst team in the Western Conference.

The Minnesota Timberwolves

2007-08 Record: 22-60, 13th in the West
2008-09 Salary: $64,728,383

The Good:

As regular readers know, I have a love/hate relationship with the Wolves. Since Tom Gugliotta left the love affair has been monoamorous. Until two years ago my love of the Wolves was because of one man: Kevin Garnett. And since his departure, the love has mainly been for the man who replaced him: Al Jefferson. Big Al is one of the most prolific and skilled offensive post players in the NBA. He’s a true banger who possesses perhaps the most unstoppable and polished low-post footwork in the league and he crashes the glass as well. Some question if Jefferson is a true franchise player, but when playing his natural power forward position he’s a true difference-maker.

From a personality perspective you have to love Al as well. He’s got drive and a throwback blue-collar attitude that’s as sincere as it is refreshing. He punches in at the office every day and goes to work, and off the court his work ethic means the sky is the limit for the 6-10 23-year-old. Jefferson’s passing and defense are still sub-par, but there’s little doubt the young man is a star.

Minnesota’s roster also features an impressive assortment of very young (if flawed) role players with room to grow. Starting with the guards, 24-year-old Randy Foye, discussed below, has all the tools to be a quality starting point in this league. Also 24 years of age, shooting guard Rashad McCants is a pure scorer who, when his head is in the game, can light things up off the bench. 23-year-old point Sebastian Telfair has matured and developed into a quality pass-first backup point last season, despite the fact that he can’t shoot the ball. And Mike Miller, while the elder statesman at 28, is one of the premier three-point marksmen in basketball.

Randy Wittman and Al Jefferson photos: Icon SMI

Joining Jefferson up front 22-year-old forward Corey Brewer is offensively challenged but he was the best perimeter defender in the 2007 draft class and has shown an ability to run the floor in the early going. 25-year-old bruiser Craig Smith is a brick outhouse who hustles and can bang with anybody under the rim, though he’s undersized even listed at a generous 6-7. 26-year-old Ryan Gomes is versatile and professional and plays with a basketball IQ beyond his years, but doesn’t excel in any phase of the game. Finally rookie Kevin Love is an offensively skilled 20-year-old who stands 6-10 and possesses good range, proficiency on the glass and strong passing skills. Unfortunately Love is unathletic, out of shape, largely redundant with Al Jefferson and, well, not O.J. Mayo, the player he was in essence traded for on draft night.

The Bad and the Ugly in the Twin Cities after the jump…

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Washington Wizards rookie JaVale McGee is fastly becoming a fan favorite in our nation’s capital, and for good reason. The 18th-overall pick in this summer’s draft is a freak of nature, and with each game his legend is growing in the blogosphere. We gave him a very brief mention in this Bloggers Southwest Previews post, saying, “Keep an eye on JaVele McGee as well, the kid was impressive in preseason play.” That was after watching him drop 20 points, 8 boards and 3 blocks on the Grizz. It wasn’t just that though, the guy seemed to be everywhere, finishing a game-high +15 in the +/- column. Yeah, it was preseason – but the potential and physical skills were undeniable.

For those of you who have kept an eye on him, you haven’t been disappointed. The guys at Mr. Irrelvant are speculating McGee can dunk on a 12-foot rim (McGee’s standing reach is 9′6.5″ and vertical is 32.5″), the Wizards are installing new camera technology just to keep up with him, he’s making highlight reels, Chris Paul is putting McGee in Dwight Howard’s class and even Superman himself has been impressed. Yeah, people are taking notice.

If Andray Blatche continues to play uninspired, lazy basketball it shouldn’t be long before JaVale’s stealing most of his minutes. After that, look out Etan Thomas, McGee could be starting by Christmas.

But let’s let JaVale’s ups speak for themselves…

(Hat tip on the video to Mr. Irrelevant)

- At the Hive – Week 2 of the Blogger Power Rankings is up (and it’s super snazzy-lookin’).
- Waiting for Next Year – The Cavaliers’ plus/minus leader thus far is… Wally Szczerbiak?!
- Knicks.com – Walt Frazier volunteers to make prank phone calls on your behalf.
- Wizards Insider – Remember when Gilbert was best known for his b-ball talents? Anyone?
- Both Teams Played Hard – 31 past and present NBA players in this blog carnival.
- Inside Hoops – Kevin Love sings! Randy Wittman cracks jokes! Woo. Hoo.
- The Love Blog – Speaking of Love, he has a NBA.com blog. Mmhmm, he’s a big boy now.
- Pickaxe and Roll – Give it up for the Denver Nuggets defense. That’s right, their defense.
- Half-Blog Half-Amazing – The dawn of a new day at MSG (and Donnie Walsh is a zombie).
- Hoops Addict – If you don’t feel totally silly talking about Adidas’ “brotherhood”…
- Wedding Style – Antonio McDyess looks dapper–no, just plain sexy–in wedding white.
- Fast Break – The state of the Golden State Warriors franchise is (apparently) strong.
- Pro Basketball News – An in-depth look at how well a few high-flyers shot/shoot FTs.

The Detroit Pistons haven’t exactly been forming like Voltron since welcoming Allen Iverson to the Motor City.

Riding the feel-good vibes of a convincing 4-0 start, a streak in which two of those wins came without Chauncey Billups, Antonio McDyess, or Iverson in the lineup, the Pistons have since seen the wheels loosened in a somewhat humiliating loss to the lowly New Jersey Nets, then fall off altogether Sunday night in what was definitely a humiliating defeat at the hands of the Boston Celtics.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this, right Pistons fans?

The Pistons were supposed to walk all over the Nets in their tune-up for Sunday’s debut of A.I. in front of his new hometown fans. Instead, after staking an early 14-point lead and looking to go into cruise-control mode early in the second quarter, they walked out 103-96 losers to a team led by that depressing loser Vince Carter.

The Pistons were then supposed to summon the depths of hell to reign revenge–bloody, merciless revenge–on the Boston Celtics, the defending NBA champ-eens and the squad that severely humbled them in last year’s ECF. Instead, the game was over before it had barely begun, with the Celtics staking an insurmountable 18 point lead at the half on the back of a 30-10 rout in the second quarter. They did it with defense (Rip Hamiton, Rasheed Wallace, and Iverson combined 8-36 FG) and they did it with outstanding bench play (43 points in all, including 23 from a rejuvenated Tony Allen).

Iverson’s standing ovation as he was introduced in Detroit’s starting lineup for the very first time quickly gave way to frustrated boos as the team slunk back into the locker room at halftime. What was supposed to be an early-season clash between the two teams pegged as the best in the East was in reality a sobering reminder that The Allen Iverson Project is still very much a work in progress.

And that’s okay. Really.

I said last week that growing pains should be expected, and that immediate results should not be. This doesn’t surprise me, and it shouldn’t surprise you.

Even the most neophyte of NBA fans knows that Iverson and the man he’s replaced, Mr. Chauncey Billups, are drastically different players. We’re talking 180 degrees. And one of the big reasons why Joe Dumars pulled the trigger on this deal is his perception that this group had become too complacent and familiar with each other; cutting off the head of that beast was bound to have some repercussions.

The Nets loss, while a little tough to swallow, is a throwaway game for a variety of reasons (not the least of which was god-awful officiating–Devin Harris shooting 24 free-throws my ass).

The Celtics loss… that’s a fine basketball team right there, one that’s completely comfortable with itself and was no doubt relishing the opportunity to piss all over the Pistons’ parade. There’s no shame in losing to Boston at this stage in the season, especially given the drastic transformation asunder on this Detroit roster. Getting blown out like that is pretty embarassing, but something tells me we’ll see a different story unfold next week when these two teams meet again in Boston.

Now’s not the time for knee-jerk reactions to Iverson’s stint with Detroit; indeed, the merits of this move cannot be fully evaluated until next June. Best to just sit back and enjoy what’s going to be a wild ride in Motown.

Related Reading:
- Joe Dumars Pulls an Allen Iverson (and Maybe More) Out of His Magic Hat
- Allen Iverson Traded to Pistons for Chauncey Billups and Antonio McDyess
- Reading is Great! More Reaction to the Iverson-for-Billups Blockbuster Trade

Allen Iverson Photo Credit: Icon SMI

Over the last few days we’ve seen an outpouring of positive reaction to Barack Obama’s victory on Tuesday. The response has been especially strong in the NBA, a profession comprised of more visible African-American men than most. Of course, the election should have had nothing to do with race, but the victory certainly does. It’s an important and historic moment for African-American men, like JFK’s victory was an important moment for Catholics. When a previously marginalized demographic achieves a new level of political achievement and representation, it’s always a proud American moment.

I’m not an especially political man, and this is not a political blog, but tracking NBA personalities is certainly within ETB’s domain. Here’s what two of the classier guys in the NBA, LeBron James and Chris Bosh, had to say about the election this week:

(Hat tip to AOL Fanhouse)