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ETB’s Sea Hammock of the Week for Week 2 – Hurricane Ike

September 15, 2008

Hurricane Ike: What a Dick

Our Monday morning Sea Hammock feature will usually focus on an NFL player who a lot of us were counting on that left fantasy owners high and dry. Either a guy who suffered a devastating injury or somebody who simply laid an egg with a cakewalk matchup, the Sea Hammock is the player who left the worst taste in our mouths on Sunday. This week that guy isn’t an NFL player though: it was a force of nature that didn’t leave much high or much dry.

I’m talking about Hurricane Ike. There’s the obvious losses of property and life associated with any severe storm to consider here, but more importantly the last-minute cancellation of the Houston-Baltimore game cost many of us our Week 2 matchup. Ike hit a lot of fantasy owners harder than he ever hit Tina.

I’m speaking as one of those owners who was counting on the services of both Andre Johnson and Steve Slaton in the same league. To make matters worse, it was a weekly auction league with no weekend transactions, which left two gaping holes in my lineup and one tally in my loss column.

Granted, this game wasn’t going to be a barn burner, and the matchup probably had many of you benching your Texans not named Andre even before the cancellation anyway. It also allowed a lot of you to simply bench the entire Ravens offense, an in-flux unit that was likely to give you a headache as it was.

Andre Johnson was a top-5 WR start this week though–a big loss to overcome. And for those who carefully plan their bye weeks on draft day, this threw a big wrench in those plans. But for owners of Steve Slaton it was an especially tough blow. The kid was about to get his first career start for the Texans, and who knows: if he had a great performance you might have had a weekly RB3 on your hands. Hurricane Ike dicked you over.

So for all of you out there who had teams thrown into disarray by the cruel whims of Mother Nature this week, our hearts go out to you. And it is with you in mind that we hereby name Hurricane Ike the Sea Hammock of the Week for Week 2.

Related Reading:
- Week One Sea Hammock of the Week: Tom Brady

No CommentsPosted by Andrew Thell on Sep. 15, 2008 at 2:45pm in NFL, NFL Fantasy News

Raptors Head Coach Sam Mitchell Spending Summer Looking at Andrea Bargnani’s Legs

September 15, 2008

He's got legs.. but don't know how to use themFirst-overall picks in any sport will always be heavily scrutinized and expected to contribute much sooner than other young players. They’re expected to blossom into superstars, All-Stars, and franchise cornerstones.

The reality, however, is that it’s pretty much a crap shoot. These guys often need a few seasons to develop–especially in the NBA–and there’s no way of being absolutely certain that you have a Dwight Howard or a Tim Duncan on your hands; you could just as easily end up with a Kwame Brown or Michael Olowokandi.

Or an Andrea Bargnani, who by all counts was a major disappointment last season for the Toronto Raptors in his second full NBA season. He won’t turn 23 years old until October 26, but already many NBA observers are pegging him as a potential bust despite his unique skill set and ability to play both forward positions and, perhaps, center as a 6-10 big man.

Just how “bad” was he last year? Compared to his rookie season, all of Bargnani’s per-game averages took a dip as he finished with 10.2 points, 3.7 boards, 38% FG, 0.3 steals, and 0.5 blocks in just under 24 minutes per.

Anomaly or sign of things to come?

Hoops Addicts’ Ryan McNeill recently caught up with Raptors head coach Sam Mitchell to get the scoop on Bargnani’s development (or lack thereof), and if you believe Mitchell there are much brighters days on the horizon for his young Italian. He cites, amongst other things, Bargnani’s incorrect foot- and legwork as a reason for his struggles last year:

“It’s a lot of technical things with Andrea,” says Mitchell. “It’s the weirdest thing: someone told me they teach players to jump off the wrong foot when they drive to the basket in Europe. I’m right-handed and I’m trying to jump off my left leg, every time. Andrea’s right-handed and a lot of times he plants with his right leg.

Jay Triano was telling me they teach them that over in Europe because a lot of times if they take that extra step, they call them for traveling. So we’ve been trying to break Andrea of something he’s been doing for how many years? We’re trying to get him comfortable jumping off the left leg when he shoots with the right hand. The right leg when he shoots with the left.

Now I know it sounds simple, but if you haven’t done it… you watch him. Most of the time when he gets stuck going to the basket he’s thinking ‘I need to be jumping off the other leg’ and he gets caught jumping off the wrong leg.”

Check out the rest of the interview here.

Related Reading:
- ETB’s Scribes of the NBA Interview Series – Scott Carefoot of Raptor Blog
- Jermaine O’Neal and T.J. Ford to be Smuggled Across the Border

Andrea Bargnani Photo Credit: Icon SMI

No CommentsPosted by Brian Spencer on Sep. 15, 2008 at 10:25am in NBA

Fantasy Football – Week 2 Position Ranks

September 12, 2008

Tony Romo is the de facto top QB with Tom Brady donezo

Tony Romo Photo Credit: Icon SMI

You’ve waited over 9 long months for their triumphant return, and at long last they’ve finally awakened from their spring and summer slumber. Mmhmm… Empty the Bench’s unflappable, tried-and-true, sea-hammock free weekly fantasy football rankings are back! Yeah yeah, we’ve tightened our belts some this season in terms of fantasy football coverage compared to last year, but these wildly popular rankings aren’t going anywhere.

Now, we might need another week or two to get our shit fully straight here as far as figuring out who’s still capable of what and which defenses are the ones to exploit week in, week out. (The Oakland Raiders and my Detroit Lions have kindly volunteered for that latter honor already.) So, while the ranks that follow have been deemed the most accurate on the Web*, we’re asking for a just a wee bit of patience in case a player or two is a slot or two off.

Without further ado, here’s ETB’s top 20 QBs, 30 RBs, 36 WRs, 15 TEs, and 15 Team Defenses based on past performance, injuries, and matchups for Week 2.

Fantasy Week 2: Top 20 Quarterbacks

Peyton Manning's Younger Brother

1. Tony Romo, Dallas Cowboys vs. PHI
2. Peyton Manning, Indianapolis Colts @ MIN
3. Ben Roethlisberger, Pittsburgh Steelers @ CLE
4. Eli Manning, New York Giants @ STL
5. Donovan McNabb, Philadelphia Eagles @ DAL
6. Drew Brees, New Orleans Saints @ WSH
7. Jay Cutler, Denver Broncos vs. SD
8. Brett Favre, New York Jets vs. NE
9. Carson Palmer, Cincinnati Bengals vs. TEN
10. Kurt Warner, Arizona Cardinals vs. MIA
11. Aaron Rodgers, Green Bay Packers @ DET
12. Derek Anderson, Cleveland Browns vs. PIT
13. Philip Rivers, San Diego Chargers @ DEN
14. Jon Kitna, Detroit Lions vs. GB
15. David Garrard, Jacksonville Jaguars vs. BUF
16. Matt Schaub, Houston Texans vs. BAL
17. Matt Cassel, New England Patriots @ NYJ
18. Matt Hasselbeck, Seattle Seahawks vs. SF
19. Jake Delhomme, Carolina Panthers vs. CHI
20. Marc Bulger, St. Louis Rams vs. NYG

Read the rest of this article »

1 CommentPosted by Brian Spencer on Sep. 12, 2008 at 9:02am in Fantasy Rankings, NFL Fantasy News

NBA Photo Friday – Shaquille O’Neal Makes Dated Quip While Wearing Dated Ensemble

September 12, 2008

Shaquille O’Neal Photo Credit: Icon SMI

1 CommentPosted by Brian Spencer on Sep. 12, 2008 at 8:50am in NBA

Budweiser, A Man’s Man Beer for Men

September 11, 2008

Do you spray it, lay it, and spread it on smooth? Have a talent for airbrushing fanciful horses on the side of vans? Identify with Mark Corrigan when he expresses his uncertain feelings for Alan Johnson? Well sir, this Bud’s most definitely for you!

No CommentsPosted by Brian Spencer on Sep. 11, 2008 at 10:19pm in Miscellaneous

Minnesota Timberwolves Star Al Jefferson Thinks 20 and 10 Isn’t Enough

September 10, 2008

Minnesota Timberwolves F/C Al JeffersonFor a guy who’s averaged a combined 18.5 points, 11 rebounds, 50% FG, and 1.5 blocks/per over his last two seasons, we’re consistently saddened that the T’Wolves’ franchise cornerstone, Al Jefferson, doesn’t get more credit as one of the NBA’s absolute best offensive big men still under 25 years old.

NBA writers/bloggers know better by now, but to the general public and casual fan Jefferson largely remains “the guy that was traded for Kevin Garnett.” In a way, it’s hard to fault that line of thinking: Jefferson does, after all, suit up for a team that hasn’t made a playoff appearance in over 4 years and that on the surface may seem directionless and lacking star power. You know that just isn’t true though.

And with the Celtics fresh off a NBA championship that simply would not have happened without KG in the fold, for now it certainly looks they pulled a fast one on McHale and Timberwolves—God knows it wouldn’t be the first (and definitely won’t be the last) time that’s happened. Fast forward two or three seasons, however, when the treads have finally worn off KG’s knees and Jefferson has become a still-in-his-20s perennial All-Star pick. Hopefully it’ll come sooner, but that’s when Minny’s acquisition of Jefferson will almost certainly be viewed in a different light.

For all of that remarkably fluid offensive prowess he already flashes on the blocks, the main criticism leveled at Jefferson is his defense, or lack thereof. It’s a valid one, too, and far and away the biggest part of his game that needs to be improved for him to truly make his mark as a dominant force in this league. In an interview on NBA.com with Mike Trudell, Jefferson, to his credit, acknowledges this and say that it’s something he’s working hard to address:

Mike Trudell: Before last season you spoke about wanting to show people what you could do as the focal point of the team, and 20 and 10 was the result. What’s on tap this time around?

Al Jefferson: It’s trying to be a well-rounded player. I know I can go out and get 20 and 10, but this year I want to be more of a leader – a better leader. Plus, I want to be a better defensive player, and that’s been a main focus this (offseason). I know I can score and rebound, but now we have some help with scoring in Mike Miller and rebounding with Kevin Love, so this year I want to lead this team and try to get to the playoffs. I really believe we have a great chance to fight for the playoffs, and that’s something we want to do.

MT: Tim Duncan’s always been called a power forward but he plays on the low block like a traditional center on offense.

Jefferson: On defense, a center is a goaltender. If you’re going to play center, you have to be a great defensive player. And that’s where I need to step my game up if I’m playing center. So it’s defense, not offense, where that matters.

Check out the whole interview for much more from Jefferson, including his thoughts on new teammates Kevin Love and Mike Miller and how he feels better conditioning will translate to better defense.

Related Reading:
- Why Kevin McHale Still Doesn’t Get it and Kevin Love Won’t Fit in Minnesota
- Why the Timberwolves Are Far From the Worst Team in the NBA
- NBA Action: Picks and Rolls

Al Jefferson Photo Credit: Icon SMI

No CommentsPosted by Brian Spencer on Sep. 10, 2008 at 3:03pm in NBA

ETB’s Sea Hammock of the Week: Tom Brady

September 8, 2008

This sums it up for Tom Brady's fantasy owners today

Tom Brady Photo Credit: Robert E. Klein/Icon SMI

The fantasy football season can be a long and trying process. For the bulk of us, it’s one slap in the face after another from a roster of misfits that don’t seem to give two shits about the blood, sweat, and tears we’re pouring into this. In fact, sometimes I could swear Torry Holt dropped that pass just to fuck with me.

Sure, four to six teams float around the top of the heap all season and earn a chance to compete for glory and financial gain in the fantasy playoffs. The rest of us get sea hammocked. Repeatedly. The sea hammock is a maneuver so offensive no man should ever perpetrate it upon another (unless it has been specifically asked for, and even then a “Are you sure about this?” is in order).

We’ve phased some of the daily fantasy football content out of ETB this season, but rest assured we’re still managing multiple teams. And that means we’re still getting sea hammocked on a near-weekly basis.

The Sea Hammock of the Week for fantasy football’s kickoff weekend comes courtesy of one Tom Brady. After the finest statistical season in NFL history, Mr. Brady was atop everyone’s QB Rankings during draft season. His 4,806 passing yards 50 TD tosses with just 8 INTs led just about all of his owners into the fantasy postseason a year ago. He was a safe bet. Forget about that Week 15 egg from last year: with Wes Welker and Randy Moss still in tow, Brady was the rare quarterback worthy of a top-5 selection this season.

Tom Brady was a rock-solid pick.

But there’s one thing fantasy football, the bitch harpy that it is, will never let you forget: there’s no such thing as a “safe bet” or a “rock-solid pick.” Tom Brady’s final line on Sunday (and for the season): 7-of-11 for 76 yards, 0 TDs and 1 torn ACL.

Sorry Tom Brady owners: you just got sea hammocked.

No CommentsPosted by Andrew Thell on Sep. 8, 2008 at 12:27pm in NFL, NFL Fantasy News

Command Control Electric Action Football GO! (Madden Football is for Chumps)

September 7, 2008

We’re guessing that dad is still steaming over son’s scathing zinger towards the end of the clip. Happy NFL Kickoff Sunday to one and all, and be sure to check back tomorrow to see who earned ETB’s very first “Sea Hammock of the Week” award.

No CommentsPosted by Brian Spencer on Sep. 7, 2008 at 11:08am in NFL

NBA Photo Friday: Stephon Marbury Doing the Humpty-Hump Dance

September 5, 2008

Stephon Marbury Photo Credit: Icon SMI

1 CommentPosted by Brian Spencer on Sep. 5, 2008 at 11:13am in NBA

ETB’s Scribes of the NBA Interview Series – Scott Carefoot of Raptor Blog

September 4, 2008

Raptor Blog's Scott Carefoot talks Raptors

Jose Calderon, Sam Mitchell Photo Credit: Icon SMI

We didn’t know much about Scott Carefoot, author of the snappy, inciteful Raptor Blog, until recently. Okay, to be honest we’d never heard of him until he recently dropped us a note that said his formerly in-hiatus site was now back in business and that we might want to give it a read. We’re glad we did.

Ostensibly dedicated to the Toronto Raptors but touching on the NBA in general nearly just as much, Carefoot’s Raptor Blog is a great example of why some of the best, most unique opinions and analysis on the NBA are found within this so-called blogosphere. His commentary is crisp, clean, and well-informed, and the humor is smart without being snarky. Yep, we’re fans.

So without further ado, it’s time to play 10 questions with Raptor Blog’s Scott Carefoot for our latest installment of ETB’s Scribes of the NBA Interview Series.

Empty the Bench: What is this Toronto Raptors team most lacking heading into 2008-09? Do they have a realistic shot at an Eastern Conference Finals appearance this year?

Scott Carefoot: Losing T.J. Ford, Rasho Nesterovic, Carlos Delfino, and Jorge Garbajosa means that this team would appear to be lacking in bench strength. Of course, that’s what I thought about the Celtics going into last season. As for an Eastern Finals appearance, this team should definitely be able to compete with the Pistons, Magic, or Sixers in a second-round matchup – which is certainly an upgrade from how they laid down to the Magic last season.

ETB: Is Chris Bosh the all-around most likeable star in today’s NBA? Or, perhaps more accurately: should he be?

Carefoot: He’s definitely up there. If I was a Magic fan I’d probably nominate Dwight Howard for that title. Bosh’s videos are fun but in terms of NBA moments that actually made me smile for days afterwards, Howard’s “Superman dunk” is tough to top. Regardless, Howard and Bosh are a couple of good examples of guys to point to when ignoramuses claim that the NBA is a “league of thugs.”


ETB: How worried are you that Bosh will opt out of his current deal in the summer of 2010 and head for greener American pastures, where the opportunity for more endorsement deals might be greater?

Carefoot: I think the endorsement argument is a little bogus when it comes to whether or not star players want to play in Toronto. In terms of North American media markets, Toronto is only behind New York, L.A. and Chicago.

As for worrying about what Bosh will do in 2010 – what’s the point? A lot can happen between now and then. I certainly don’t want Bryan Colangelo to kowtow to his every whim to keep him happy. I remember how well that went with previous management and Vince Carter. The Milt Palacio Era is still a haunting memory.

Much more from Raptor Blog’s one and only Scott Carefoot after the jump…

Read the rest of this article »

No CommentsPosted by Brian Spencer on Sep. 4, 2008 at 8:29am in Interviews, NBA

Tatum Bell’s Last Carry for the Detroit Lions

September 3, 2008

Tatum Bell is on the loose!Getting cut by a running-back needy team like the Detroit Lions motivated Kevin Jones to work even harder in his rehab from a broken foot. His status is still up in the air, but he at least has a job with the Chicago Bears. Fellow ex-Lion Tatum Bell has taken his release slightly differently.

Bell, who initially made Detroit’s final 53-man roster and was slated to back up rookie Kevin Smith, was recently replaced by ex-Cincinnati Bengals stud RB Rudi Johnson and subsequently cut. Apparently he reacted by heisting Johnson’s bags while he was meeting with GM Matt Millen:

Johnson left his bags outside CEO Matt Millen’s office while he met with team officials and, ultimately, worked out a deal with the team. When Johnson came back to get his bags, they were nowhere to be found. The team checked the videotapes generated by the team’s in-house surveillance system, and they quickly identified the culprit: Tatum Bell.

Per the source, Tatum Bell took the bags to the house of a female acquaintance. When confronted on the matter, Bell offered up some cockamamie story that he thought the bags belonged to someone he knew. The girl, however, said that she hadn’t seen Bell in several months and he showed up out of the blue and asked her to keep the bags for a while.

Johnson has since retrieved the bags, and Bell has since been busy filling out applications for admission to a local Clown College. We could not confirm rumors that he was not asked back for a second interview for the night shift at White Castle after the manager found three packets of ketchup and a stack of napkins in his pocket.

**UPDATE**

Rudi Johnson says that once the bags were returned nearly everything was missing. He’s issued a bunch of a (hilarious) statements on the matter:

“Underwear, socks, credit cards and money. He left my money clip with no money in it. He should’ve taken the clip, too. It’s quite stupid if you ask me.”

“All of this happened after he got released and came in and got some stuff out of his locker,” Johnson said. “That’s when he scooped the bags up, some real shyster, conniving stuff. He tried to make up some excuse, he tried to blame it on somebody else so I didn’t try to entertain something that didn’t make any sense.”

“I’m not going to the police for this one,” he said. “I don’t need anybody else, I can handle it. He knows how I feel about it, trust me. He knows how I feel about it and it’s nothing positive. He said it was a mixup. It is what it is.”

**SECOND UPDATE**

It’s an overused, cliched phrase, but seriously: you cannot make this stuff up.

1 CommentPosted by Brian Spencer on Sep. 3, 2008 at 3:02pm in NFL

Monta Ellis Embroiled in Ankle-Gate

September 3, 2008

Monta Ellis's ankle injury means trouble for the WarriorsJohn McCain’s embattled campaign vice presidential gaffe running mate isn’t the only West Coaster making headlines in celebrity gossip columns this week.

Just weeks removed from signing on the dotted line of a 6-year, $66 million contract that will keep him in a Golden State Warriors uniform, Monta “ETB Favorite” Ellis experienced a rather significant setback. To his ankle. One of two ankles that helps propel him from one end of the floor to the other faster than Eddy Curry to the bottom of a tub o’ ice cream.

It’s going to sideline him for at least 3 months, but there’s no telling how accurate that estimate is or how long long it’ll take Ellis to actually get back to full speed.

Monta Ellis Photo Credit: Icon SMI

Mmhmm, these things can linger. And that’s devastating news to a Warriors team that’s going to need every win it can get in the ever-competitive Western Conference hunt for a playoff berth. Their 0-6 start last year came back to haunt them later, and a similar scenario could unfold once again. The team was already facing a potentially awkward transition from Baron Davis to Ellis as the starting point guard, especially given that Ellis has yet to run that position full time for an entire season.

Now, while Ellis ices his ankle and recovers from surgery, it’ll likely be third-year PG Marcus Williams getting the start. The ‘06 first-round pick of the New Jersey Nets has flashed great potential here and there in spot duty behind Jason Kidd, and it’ll be interesting to see how he does with extended burn in Nellie’s uptempo offense. It’s tough to say, but if he’s logging upwards of 25 – 30 minutes per while Ellis is out, I could see at least 13 points and 6 assists a night. I’m tempted to say he has the talent to easily surpass that project, but we still just don’t know enough about Williams. That’ll change soon enough.

Ellis said he severely sprained his ankle during a normal, everyday workout at home in Jackon, Mississippi. Then a report out of the Contra Costa Times said the team was sending its trainer, Tom Abdenour, out to investigate what it thought sounded like a mysterious injury. Then the San Francisco Chronicle refuted that story, saying Abdenour was actually in South Africa.

Oh, the drama!

Big money tends to breed big paranoia in professional sports, so whether or not Golden State’s $66 Million Dollar Man is fibbing about what caused the injury it’s no surprise that Warriors GM Chris Mullin & Co. are a bit skeptical. If Ellis actually suffered this severely sprained ankle playing an unauthorized game of pick-up basketball–or whatever else–then, yeah, there’s been a breach of trust on his part and he could be fined by the team. I’m sure they’d rather not, but business is business and those ankles of Ellis’ are quite valuable.

And like sands through the hourglass, these are the days of our lives.

Related:
- All-Youngin’ Team: NBA’s Best, 21 and Under
- Monta Ellis is NBA’s Most Improved Player
- NBA Front-Row Seat: Monta Ellis, Carmelo Anthony, Dorell Wright, and More

No CommentsPosted by Brian Spencer on Sep. 3, 2008 at 8:47am in NBA

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