Empty the Bench

Last night I dreamt I was starting for the U.S. men’s basketball team.

It was a fairly detailed dream, too. It’s becoming more and more hazy by the minute, but I remember deflecting a pass on defense, passing up an open shot and deferring to LeBron James, and coming off the floor during a timeout feeling relatively good about my performance.

Once I got to the bench I took a seat next to head coach Mike Krzyzewski, who said I was playing good defense, that I shouldn’t be afraid to look for my own shot, and to stop passing it to LeBron and Carmelo every time I got the ball. He imparted this advice rather good-naturedly, though the minutes ticked away in the first half and I didn’t get back on the floor. Surely Coach K hadn’t forgotten about the deadly three-pointers and pivot-into-the-lane hook shot from the low block that I so often wield on the streets of NYC?

LeBron James Photo Credit: Icon SMI

My fanboy dream gets a little hazier after that. I remember sitting near Carlos Boozer during my time on the bench in the first half. As you may have heard, Boozer has been gifted a new nickname during these Beijing Olympic Games: “Fan Gu Zai,” which literally translates to “Betrayal Skull Dude,” an apparent reference both to his baldness and that famous about-face he pulled some years ago in bolting from the Cleveland Cavaliers to the Utah Jazz.

I remember talking to Tayshaun Prince, who’s found himself at the very end of this team’s bench, and asking him about which move his Detroit Pistons made this summer has him most excited (that or which new player he’s most excited about playing with). He kept asking me who I was talking about, and I kept drawing a blank… kept having this unnamed player name stuck on the tip of my tongue. Perhaps it’s because very few people outside of Kwame Brown and Will Bynum have been bowled over by the free-agent signings of Kwawe Brown and Will Bynum, including me and my friend Tayshaun?

My Olympic dream pretty much ended there, though something about George W. Bush walking into a courtyard through a well-varnished oak door during halftime was in there too. If there was any justice this dream would have continued on into the second half. I would have pulled down a rebound, outletted to Chris Paul on the fast break, ran down the floor and set up on the wing behind the arc, and given CP3 another assist after calmly swishing the trey. I would have taken Coach K’s advice and looked for my shot–not passed to LeBron… and of course LeBron would have totally agreed with this game plan.

We’d of won the game and I would have been interviewed by Craig Sager on the sideline. I would have been contacted promptly thereafter by a representative from Topps interested in procuring my game-worn jersey to be cut up and included in next year’s special set of Team USA insert relic cards.

Alas, one U.S. men’s basketball dream at a time.

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