Empty the Bench

“In Boston you heard the ‘Beat LA’ chants, and now here in LA you hear the anti-Boston chants… saying ‘Boston isn’t very good,’ ” said Mike Breen in another one of his patented sugary-sweet understatements during Tuesday night’s ABC telecast of Game 3 between the Boston Celtics and Los Angeles Lakers.

You may be wondering how a simple yes-man like Breen consistently stays so vanilla-white time and time again during his extended time behind the mic for NBA broadcasts. Well, ETB tracked down the only play-by-play announcer in the history of sports announcing to never disagree with a referee and asked him that very question: What goes on in your head, Mike Breen, that keeps you so focused, so zeroed in, so goddamn bland no matter how heated or controversial or debatable the action is on the court?

With that trademark smile spread across his big, dumb face, Breen softly uttered just three words in response: “Apache. Tommy Seebach.” And with that it all… made… sense.