NBA

ETB’s 100% Spectacular Vernacular Midseason NBA Award Program Special for Big News Basketball Stars Today

Let’s Get This Show on the Road, G-Wiz!

G-Wiz Photo Credit: Icon SMI

It’s All Star week in the NBA, and ETB is kicking off the festivities with a very special awards… special. We celebrate the holiday by picking some of the best, worst and most surprising stories thus far, letting you know which players to avoid at the nightclub and defining that enigma wrapped in a fortune cookie known as Stephon Marbury. Hey, there are only four days of games for our fantasy teams this week and our lineups are already set. We had some time on our hands. And yes, we know it’s slightly past mid-season. Without further ado, the awards.

A joint venture of Matsumura Fishworks and Tamaribuchi Heavy Manufacturing Concern…

Three Most Exciting Teams to Watch on NBA League Pass

Andrew: Atlanta Hawks, Toronto Raptors, Golden State Warriors
Brian: Detroit Pistons, Los Angeles Lakers, Golden State Warriors

Three Most Depressing Teams to Watch on NBA League Pass

Andrew: Indiana Pacers, Seattle Supersonics, New Jersey Nets
Brian: Los Angeles Clippers, New Jersey Nets, Philadelphia 76ers

Stephon Marbury in 10 Words or Less:

Andrew: He takes the ‘star’ out of Starbury.
Brian: The first player to get psyched for ankle surgery. Ever.

Most Pleasantly Bizarre NBA Story of the Season:
Andrew: Andray Blatche trying to pick up an undercover cop posing as a prostitute the evening before signing his contract extension.
Brian: Sebastian Telfair averages 32 minutes a night.

The Los Angeles Lakers

The Los Angeles Lakers Photo Credit: Icon SMI

Top Three Benches

Andrew: Los Angeles Lakers, San Antonio Spurs, Toronto Raptors
Brian: Sacramento Kings, Golden State Warriors, Detroit Pistons

Most Pleasant Surprises (Players)

Andrew:

1. Jose Calderon, Toronto Raptors
2. Hedo Turkoglu, Orlando Magic
3. Mike Dunleavy Jr, Indiana Pacers

Brian:

1. Chris Kaman, Los Angeles Clippers
2. Jose Calderon, Toronto Raptors
3. Dwight Howard, Orlando Magic

Most Unpleasant Surprises (Players)

Andrew:

1. Ray Allen, Boston Celtics
2. Vince Carter, New Jersey Nets
3. Luol Deng, Chicago Bulls

Brian:

1. Vince Carter, New Jersey Nets
2. Shaquille O’Neal, Miami Heat
3. Eddy Curry, New York Knicks

Most Pleasant Surprises (Teams)

Andrew:

1. Portland Trail Blazers
2. New Orleans Hornets
3. Sacramento Kings

Brian:

1. Portland Trail Blazers
2. New Orleans Hornets
3. Los Angeles Lakers

Most Unpleasant Surprises (Teams)

Andrew:

1. Houston Rockets
2. Chicago Bulls
3. New York Knickerbockers

Brian:

1. Miami Heat
2. Chicago Bulls
3. Charlotte Bobcats

Three “Playoff Bubble” Teams Most Likely to Make It

Andrew: Atlanta Hawks, Philadelphia 76ers, Golden State Warriors
Brian: Washington Wizards, Chicago Bulls, Denver Nuggets

Three “Playoff Bubble” Teams Most Unlikely to Make It

Andrew: New Jersey Nets, Houston Rockets, Indiana Pacers
Brian: New Jersey Nets, Portland Trail Blazers, Indiana Pacers

Three Teams Who’ll Have a Better Second Half Than First

Andrew: Minnesota Timberwolves, Chicago Bulls, Los Angeles Clippers
Brian: Sacramento Kings, Minnesota Timberwolves, Chicago Bulls

Three Teams Who’ll Have a Worse Second Half Than First

Andrew: Phoenix Suns, New Orleans Hornets, New Jersey Nets
Brian: Memphis Grizzlies, Portland Trail Blazers, New Jersey Nets

Stephen Jackson Scares Us

Stephen Jackson Photo Credit: Icon SMI

Three Players Most Likely to Cut You (With a Knife)

Andrew: Rafer Alston, Zach Randolph, Ron Artest
Brian: Stephen Jackson, Zach Randoloph, Mark Cuban

Top Three Rookies (in no particular order)

Andrew:
1. Al Horford, Atlanta Hawks
2. Kevin Durant, Seattle Supersonics
3. Sean Williams, New Jersey Nets

Brian:
1. Kevin Durant, Seattle SuperSonics
2. Al Horford, Atlanta Hawks
3. Rodney Stuckey, Detroit Pistons

Top Three MVP Candidates

Andrew:
1. LeBron James, Cleveland Cavaliers
2. Kobe Bryant, Los Angeles Lakers
3. Kevin Garnett, Boston Celtics

Brian:
1. Kobe Bryant, Los Angeles Lakers
2. Kevin Garnett, Boston Celtics
3. LeBron James, Cleveland Cavaliers

Top Three Most Improved Player Candidates

Andrew:
1. Jose Calderon, Toronto Raptors
2. Dwight Howard, Orlando Magic
3. Andrew Bynum, Los Angeles Lakers

Brian:
1. Chris Kaman, Los Angeles Clippers
2. Jose Calderon, Toronto Raptors
3. Rajon Rondo, Boston Celtics

Top Three Defensive Player of the Year Candidates

Andrew:
1. Kevin Garnett, Boston Celtics
2. Marcus Camby, Denver Nuggets
3. Kobe Bryant, Los Angeles Lakers

Brian:
1. Bruce Bowen, San Antonio Spurs
2. Marcus Camby, Denver Nuggets
3. Josh Smith, Atlanta Hawks

Top Sixth Man of the Year Candidates

Andrew:
1. Leandro Barbosa, Phoenix Suns
2. Travis Outlaw, Portland Trailblazers
3. Jason Terry, Dallas Mavericks

Brian:
1. Leandro Barbosa, Phoenix Suns
2. Ben Gordon, Chicago Bulls
3. Jason Terry, Dallas Mavericks

Biggest Fantasy Busts So Far

Andrew:
1. Jermaine O’Neal, Indiana Pacers
2. Kirk Hinrich, Chicago Bulls
3. LaMarcus Aldridge, Portland Trailblazers

Brian:
1. Gilbert Arenas, Washington Wizards
2. Tracy McGrady, Houston Rockets
3. Andrea Bargnani, Toronto Raptors

Biggest Fantasy Surprises So Far

Andrew:
1. Jose Calderon, Toronto Raptors
2. Chris Kaman, Los Angeles Clippers
3. Hedo Turkoglu, Orlando Magic

Brian:
1. Hedo Turkoglu, Orlando Magic
2. Mike Dunleavy, Indiana Pacers
3. Jose Calderon, Toronto Raptors

Top Three Performers on Sub-.500 Teams

Andrew:
1. Al Jefferson, Minnesota Timberwolves
2. Gerald Wallace, Charlotte Bobcats
3. Josh Smith, Atlanta Hawks

Brian:
1. Al Jefferson, Minnesota Timberwolves
2. Josh Smith, Atlanta Hawks
3. Chris Kaman, Los Angeles Clippers

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