Empty the Bench

Photo Credit: John Pyle/Icon SMI

This is for all the marbles. Time to push it to the max, take it to the extreme, and so on, and so forth. Ok. So you don’t need us to tell you how important your matchup against that turd who sits five cubicles over is. What you do need is a competitive edge, some of ETB’s patented fantasy football analysis, to ensure that you emerge victorious. Fortunately, our weekly Matchups are just in time. Armed with this column and tomorrow’s Position Rankings, there’s little doubt that you will stand triumphant on Tuesday morning, clenching the still-beating heart of your vanquished foe, one foot on his throat and the other on his genitals, his warm blood dripping from your jowls.

As always, these are not necessarily the guys we think will score the most points or score the least points: there will always be obvious situations and choices we dismiss. These aren’t all sneaky plays, either. These are just the matchups that we think deserve mention*.

Drew Brees Photo Credit: Kevin Reece/Icon SMI

Five Strong Quarterback Plays

Brett Favre, Green Bay @ STL
Drew Brees, New Orleans vs. ARZ
Derek Anderson, Cleveland vs. BUF
Matt Hasselbeck, Seattle @ CAR
Jay Cutler, Denver @ HOU

Fortune Cookies: Don’t be fooled by last week’s performance from the St. Louis secondary. It was in driving rain and against a Bengals passing attack that has been completely out of sorts for over a month. Brett Favre, suddenly flush with options out wide, should have no trouble putting up at least 2 TDs and 250 yards– the guy is in the middle of perhaps his finest season and has at least 2 TD passes in six of the last seven weeks… If you own him, then you’re likely all too aware that Drew Brees has 22 TD tosses in his last nine games. It’s been an incredible run after that disappointing start and he needs to be in your lineup every week, but Brees should absolutely destroy the struggling, Adrian Wilson-less Cardinals secondary that just gave up 272 yards and 4 TDs to Matt Hasselbeck (with 0 INTs)… Derek Anderson has cooled off some from that torrid start, but he does have a pair of touchdowns in each of his last three games and the 6′6″ QB throws his best ball at home (100.1 QB rating in Cleveland). Buffalo’s defense has been better than advertised this season, but they struggle on the road… Coming off that four-touchdown explosion against the Cards, Matt Hasselbeck & Co. draw the moribund Panthers. Don’t let the 12th-ranked pass defense fool you, teams just haven’t needed to throw on Carolina much this season. However, Seattle has nearly abandoned their weak running attack and let Hasselbeck attempt at least 33 passes in each of the last eight games… Don’t look now, but after last week’s four-touchdown performance Jay Cutler is averaging 2 TDs and 240 yards a game with just 3 INTs over the last four weeks. Meanwhile, the Texans secondary is struggling over the same stretch, allowing nearly 265 yards a game through the air. Cutler has established an excellent rapport with stud WR Brandon Marshall, and we expect them to keep rolling this week.

Temper Your Expectations

David Garrard, Jacksonville @ PIT
Donovan McNabb, Philadelphia @ DAL

Fortune Cookies: Forget about last week, Tom Brady and the Pats can torch any secondary their little hearts desire. It doesn’t change the fact that the Steelers pass defense has been the best in the NFL this season, hands down. David Garrard’s performance on the field this season has been a revelation, but he isn’t a fantasy must-start yet with just 13 TDs on the season. This is going to be a real slobberknocker and we don’t expect much from the Jags passing game… Before the season started I traded Matt Leinart and Vince Young for Donovan McNabb. It seemed like a big deal at the time, but little did we know that all three would be nearly worthless this season. Take away Donovan McNabb’s two four-touchdown games and he has just 6 TDs in the other nine contests. That’s not the stuff fantasy football dreams are made of. Dallas’ pass defense has been reasonably sturdy and opportunistic this season as well, allowing just 16 TDs with 18 INTs.

Sneaky Play of the Week

Trent Edwards, Buffalo @ CLE

Fortune Cookie: There are two reasons you might go with Edwards this week: either you’ve made it this far with a complete bum or you need a reason to watch this depressing game. Either way, Trent Edwards could reward your leap of faith on Sunday. Yes, he has thrown for only 5 TDs this season, and four of ‘em came last week. Still, Buffalo is inexplicably still fighting for a playoff birth and going to be aggressive in this game. They could also be playing from behind for much of the second quarter, and the Browns have given up the most TD passes in the NFL (27) and the third-most passing yards per (259.2).

Dud of the Week

Both Starting Quarterbacks for Baltimore @ Miami

Fortune Cookie: My God–do these offenses have to start someone at quarterback? Wouldn’t it be more productive to put an extra blocker in the backfield and hike it directly to a running back? The Ravens will probably start Kyle Boller, though last year’s Heisman Trophy winner, Troy Smith, might get the nod. The best NFL quarterback in NFL history ever named “Cleo,” Mr. Cleo Lemon, will be behind center for the Dolphins… that’s all we can say about that. There’s a good chance these two squads combine for less than 250 yards passing.

Five Strong Running Back Plays

Jamal Lewis, Cleveland vs. BUF
Joseph Addai, Indianapolis @ OAK
Ryan Grant, Green Bay @ STL
LenDale White @ KC
Willis McGahee, Baltimore @ MIA

Fortune Cookies: Jamal Lewis is playing his best football in years, and the Cleveland offense continues to roll. He’s got an astounding 9 TDs over the last six weeks and Buffalo has given up 112.4 yards per and 12 TDs on the ground. As we mentioned, the Bills are significantly worse on the road as well… Joseph Addai didn’t manage many yards last week, but he did punch in 3 TDs in the first half against a formerly-formidable Ravens defense. He should get plenty of touches this week, and faces the second-worst rush defense in the NFL in Oakland… Ryan Grant is the NFL’s leading rusher over the last two months and we see no reason why he should slow down playing in St. Louis against a defense that has already allowed 13 rushing scores… It was touch-and-go for a while there, but Stay Puft has 35 touches over his last two games and punched one into the endzone both weeks while running hard. Kansas City has fallen apart recently, perhaps hitting bottom last week, and are now allowing 123.5 rushing yards a game… Willis McGahee is already a 1,000+ yard RB and has 8 TDs with three weeks left to play. He was quiet against the Colts last week, but should bust out in Miami this weekend. The Dolphins sport the NFL’s worst rush defense at 155.4 yards per and Bodymore Murderland may want to shy away from that so-called passing attack.

Temper Your Expectations

Fred Taylor, Jacksonville @ PIT
Kevin Jones, Detroit @ SD

Fortune Cookies: He’s really been on a tear these past three weeks (340 yards and 2 TDs combined), but it’s not a great matchup for Fred Taylor this time around. The Pittsburgh Steelers rarely allow a visiting RB to do much at Heinz Field, so bench him if you can and save him for that juicy matchup at home against the porous Raiders rush defense in Week 16… Yes, Kevin Jones equaled a season-high in carries last week with 23 and turned it into 92 yards rushing and two scores. But OC Mike Martz is just as likely to throw it 50+ times now with the Chargers “expecting” the Lions to try and capitalize on the success of their rushing attack against Dallas. It’s pretty much feast or famine with Jones for now.

Sneaky Play of the Week

Chester Taylor, Minnesota vs. CHI

Fortune Cookie: For whatever reason, the Bears defense still holds some kind of mystique for fantasy owners. Listen, they aren’t who we thought they were. There are injuries everywhere and Brian Urlacher’s spine has more scar tissue than (aging starlet)’s face. They give up 123.2 yards a game on the ground, have surrendered 14 rushing TDs and got torn a new A-hole by the Vikings ground game in Week 6 when they surrendered 375 (!) yards on the ground. The Viqueens are being careful to limit All Day’s workload after the LCL injury and should keep Chester in the mix in a must-win game.

Dud of the Week

Mike Shanahan, Denver @ HOU

Fortune Cookie: Mike Shanahan hates you, sure, but he hates your fantasy teams even more. All of them. He wants to make things difficult for you. He wants to see you squirm. He wants to see you crash and burn. You wanna start Travis Henry? Oh boy, ha ha… we’ll see how that works for you. Selvin Young? Don’t make him laugh again. It doesn’t matter what you do, Shanahan will be there to foil you.

Five Strong Wide Receiver Plays

Terrell Owens, Dallas vs. PHI
Greg Jennings, Green Bay @ STL
Marques Colston, New Orleans vs. ARZ
Lee Evans, Buffalo @ CLE
Brandon Marshall, Denver @ HOU

Fortune Cookies: The Lions effectively shut down Terrell Owens last week at Ford Field (3 catches, 21 yards), but you just know T.O. will go off on his former team with McNabb watching from the sideline. He shredded them for 10 receptions, 174 yards, and 1 TD back in Week 9, and though it’ll be tough to top that, he’ll put up real nice numbers… Despite missing the first two games of the season, Greg Jennings now has 11 TD catches on the season, scoring in all but two games. That’s good for fourth most in the NFL amongst WRs, but it’ll be on T.J. Houshmandzadeh, who also has 11, to keep up after Jennings scores again this week… After six weeks Marques Colston owners were in a panic, with their WR1 averaging just 44 yards per game and with only 2 TDs. That seems like a long time ago, because since then Colston has 715 yards, 6 TDs and 53 receptions. Like the aforementioned Drew Brees, he should keep it rolling against the struggling Cards secondary… Lee Evans is as hit-or-miss as any player in the NFL. He can lay an egg or he can win your matchup any given week, and it could have gone either way Sunday as he caught just 2 passes but turned them into 79 yards and 2 TDs. The only consistent thing about Evans is his December magic, where he has 16 TDs in his career, with just 12 in all other months combined. Start him against a porous CLE DEF this week and hope for the best… We’ve been “pimping” (I hate that word) this guy all season, so hopefully you’ve been along for the ride. After last week’s incredible performance Brandon Marshall has 75 receptions for 1,029 yards and 6 TDs. The big, strong wideout is going to be a force for years to come and should cement his elite status for next season with a strong game against the sagging Texans secondary.

Temper Your Expectations

Jerricho Cotchery, New York Jets @ NE
Jerry Porter, Oakland vs. IND

Fortune Cookies: I think New England is going to play their meanest game of the season this week, and it’s probably best to keep all Jets on the sidelines. Jerricho Cotchery has been struggling with a bum finger of late, and once this one becomes a laugher he might just be on the sidelines himself… Jerry Porter made an extremely athletic, impressive catch on the touchdown last week, but the Packers should have knocked that ball down. If they had Porter would have finished with 1 reception for 20 yards. Indy has been one of the top pass defenses in football all season, and with JaMarcus Russell expected to play this week we don’t see the Raiders throwing for many yards or any scores.

Sneaky Play of the Week

Anthony Gonzalez, Indianapolis @ OAK

Fortune Cookie: Since you already read the Week 15 Stock Report, you know that the rookie wideout has been coming on strong lately as a fill-in for Marvin Harrison. Throw out his Week 13 box (1 catch, 22 yards) and instead zero in on how he’s done in Weeks 12 and 14: a combined 12 receptions for 239 yards and 2 TDs, both of which came last week against those quitters the Ravens. Oakland struggles against opposing WR2’s and he’s hot.

Dud of the Week

Bernard Berrian, Chicago @ MIN

Fortune Cookie: The Bears are one more injury away from getting Bob Gagliano, Erik Kramer, or possibly Jeff George in uniform and starting them at quarterback. Kyle Orton, who was last seen doing a bang-up job holding a clipboard on the sideline, starts this week on the road against the Vikings… and that’s very, very bad for Bernard Berrian’s prospects at solid fantasy production. Look elsewhere if possible.

Five Strong Tight End Plays

Jason Witten, Dallas vs. PHI
Kellen Winslow, Jr., Cleveland vs. BUF
Dallas Clark, Indianapolis @ OAK
Donald Lee, Green Bay @ STL
Tony Gonzalez, Kansas City vs. TEN

Fortune Cookies: Jason Witten is pretty much a lock to represent the NFC as their starting tight end in this year’s Pro Bowl (will anyone tune in to see it?), and is just 45 yards away from eclipsing the 1,000 yards receiving mark for the first time in his career. Expect it to happen at home a week removed from a career day against the Lions (15 catches, 138 yards, 1 TD)… The Buffalo secondary performs much better at home, but on the road it’s a completely different story. They’ll struggle to keep up with Kellen Winslow, Jr. (by the way, this pivotal AFC game with major playoff implications for both teams should be the flex game on Sunday Night, not the mostly meaningless Giants/Redskins snoozer)… Dallas Clark was silent last week (1 reception, 15 yards), but Peyton Manning will keep him happy by getting Clark at least 5 receptions and a redzone look or two… As we’ve said a few times now, Donald Lee has only one game this season with less than 3 receptions, which is just the kind of consistency you want during the fantasy playoffs… So, Tony Gonzalez (79 catches, 954 yards, 5 TDs) is pretty much a no-brainer strong play regardless of the opponent, his quarterback, the weather, etc.

Temper Your Expectations

Chris Cooley, Washington @ NYG
Tony Scheffler, Denver @ HOU

Fortune Cookies: We’re not big on yeoman quarterbacks starting games on the road, so with Todd Collins behind center there should be a ripple effect on the rest of the Redskins offense, Chris Cooley included. He’s having a fine season, though, and should still be good for 5 and 50, but don’t go too overboard in your projections… Tony Scheffler should be a big part of this offense for years to come, but he’s struggling with consistency right now and probably shouldn’t be in your lineup with so much at stake.

Sneaky Play of the Week

Vernon Davis, San Francisco vs. CIN

Fortune Cookie: Someone please get this guy a respectable quarterback, and no, Shaun Hill, you’re not it. The versatile second-year TE has been hamfisted by sub-poor play from his QBs all season, and it’s a minor miracle that he’s managed to catch 42 passes for 413 yards and 2 TDs given the situation. If it were up to us, we’d force-feed the ball to Davis on short out routes and watch him run over the poor tacklers lining up for the Cincy defense. If there’s any defense the 49ers had a chance to exploit, it’s this one.

Dud of the Week

Jeremy Shockey, New York Giants vs. WSH

Fortune Cookie: He’ll probably catch a few passes, and since it’s a Sunday Night game you can bet he’ll do his very best to ham it up and look like he’s so pumped up. But since that monster game against Dallas in Week 10, Shockey’s receptions per week look like this, in order: 5, 4, 2, 1. The next logical step would be zero, and it would please us to no end if it actually happened. (P.S. He only has 3 TDs all year.)

Five Strong Team Defense Plays

Minnesota Vikings vs. CHI
Indianapolis Colts @ OAK
San Diego Chargers vs. DET
New York Giants vs. WSH
Tampa Bay Bucs vs. ATL

Fortune Cookies: Thanks in part to eight defensive touchdowns and allowing, on average, just 17.8 points/per, the Minnesota Vikings DEF stands as the top-rated team defense in ETB’s fantasy scoring format. At home and controling their postseason destiny (win out and they’re in), Minny is a must start against the woeful Bears offense, who’ll start Kyle Orton at QB… We’re not sure what the hold-up is in Oakland as far as starting JaMarcus Russell, but perhaps they’re waiting until after the Indianapolis Colts DEF and their top-rated pass defense rolls out of town. In the meantime, watch Josh McCown turn it over a few times… The San Diego Chargers DEF will be without the services of human wrecking-ball Shawne Merriman (apparently Jon Kitna’s prayers are working sometimes), but that doesn’t change the fact that the Lions will be without the services of Roy Williams, are on the road, and are pretty much deflated after watching their season just about slip away last week after blowing it against Dallas… Redskins backup QB Todd Collins filled in admirably for Jason Campbell after he suffered a season-ending injury, but he won’t find the going so easy on the road against the sack-happy New York Giants DEF… We’re shocked–shocked–that quarterback Chris Redman made it through the entire game Monday night against New Orleans. We expect him to get battered and turn it over a few times on the road against a Tampa Bay DEF that’ll do its part to help their team clinch the NFC South.

Temper Your Expectations

Jacksonville Jaguars @ PIT
Baltimore Ravens @ MIA

Fortune Cookies: The Jacksonville Jaguars DEF has been fairly solid all season, but it’s a tough situation going on the road to Pittsburgh a week after the Steelers were severely humbled by the Patriots. They have a great chance of bottling up the under-performing Willie Parker, but Ben Roethlisberger could have a real nice day… In theory, this should be one of those games where the normally sound Baltimore Ravens DEF feasts on the wounded Dolphins, who are near the bottom of most every major statistical category on offense. They start Cleo Lemon, don’t have any WRs on the roster last time we checked, and have a pack of wounded running backs. But you know what? This Ravens defense has quit on the season–and, maybe, who can blame them–and we think they’ll put forth a rather uninspiring fantasy line.

Sneaky Play of the Week

Miami Dolphins vs. BAL

Fortune Cookie: We went back and forth between listing the aging, awful Miami Dolphins DEF or the untalented, undisciplined Cincinnati Bengals DEF as this week’s Sneaky Play. To be sure, you’d have balls of glossy granite to start either one of them at this stage in the fantasy season. But let’s see here: Miami gets a Ravens offense that, outside of Willis McGahee, has stooped down to Pop Warner level, plus the Fins are at home. Cincinnati, on the other hand, gets the NFL’s lowest-scoring team in the 49ers, who will trot out Shaun Hill to start at QB. Surely, one of these sad-sap units will do something, right? Dolphins get the nod over the Bungles because, well, they’re the Bungles.

Dud of the Week

New York Jets @ NE

Fortune Cookie: Is it fair to list the New York Jets DEF here as our Week 15 dud? “Oh, we should call you guys ‘Captain Obvious and His Little Friend No-Duh,” you say. “I wouldn’t play the Jets defense even if they were playing the… the… 49ers.” Well, tough tittie: we think this unit has a chance to yield more points than any ever has in NFL history for a single game. It’s not that they’re that bad, but there’s no doubt that after Eric Mangini and the Jets created a scandal by accusing the Pats of cheating all the way back in Week 1, Bill Belichick will do everything in his power to embarass this team. So, over/under on Randy Moss touchdowns at six?

More Free Fantasy Football Advice for Week 15

- ETB’s Week 15 Stock Report

- ETB’s Week 15 Position Ranks

- ETB’s Week 15 Cheat Sheet

*Disclaimer: There are some players who are always must starts, and you should know who they are. To make things easy, we’ve picked a few guys at each position who will never be listed in our Top Matchups because it just wouldn’t be fair– they’re studs, simple as that. They are: QB Peyton Manning, QB Tom Brady, RB LaDainian Tomlinson, RB Adrian Peterson, WR T.J. Houshmandzadeh, WR Randy Moss, TE Antonio Gates, and DEF New England.