Empty the Bench

- How about those Patriots? That was about as sound an ass whooping as you’re going to see in today’s NFL. They came out and dominated the Dolphins through the air, and Tom Brady probably cemented himself as the best quarterback in the league. At one point Brady was 11/11 with 220 yards and 4 TDs— and that was with 6:47 left in the second quarter. Their receiving corps was simply amazing. Donte’ Stallworth scored the first TD with style, performing a Madden-esque spin between two Miami defensive backs en route to the endzone. And Randy Moss was blanketed by defenders on both of his touchdowns, but he once again showed that he has perhaps the greatest ball skills of any wide receiver in NFL history. Moss finished with 4 receptions for 122 yards and 2 touchdowns. He just makes things happen. How did they get this guy for a fourth-round pick?

The Pats leading receiver was Wes Welker, though, a guy they got from the ‘Fins in the offseason. He managed 9 receptions for 138 yards and 2 more TDs. Even Kyle Brady got in on the action, hauling in 3 passes which included a 2-yard TD. Going forward you just have to start your Pats ever week, and you need to start whoever faces the Dolphins as well.

- ‘Twas another fabulous day for Seattle Seahawks RB Shaun Alexander, who can now be officially added to the growing list of first-round fantasy busts. At home, against an awful Rams team that trots out the 27th-ranked rush defense in the NFL, Alexander toted the rock 19 times for 47 yards and 0 TDs. This marks the second straight week he’s recorded a pitiful 2.5 YPC, and he hasn’t scored a touchdown since Week 2. Just two seasons removed from his monster 27 TD, 1,880 yards rushing season, Alexander has developed into one of the most depressing fantasy presences of ’07. Yuck.

- Kevin Jones got his first start of the year for the Detroit Lions and looked good against the decent Tampa Bay Bucs defense, carrying the ball 15 times for 76 yards, catching 6 passes for 34 yards, and scoring. Plan on OC Mike Martz riding KJ as long as his foot holds up and relegating backups Tatum Bell and Tico Duckett to spot duty. Jones was sharp and clearly helps balance out the Lions offense in ways that Bell wasn’t able to over the first five weeks. Consider Jones a very strong WR/RB flex for now, but he should be elevated to a solid RB2 very soon.

- After putting up respectable numbers against the Patriots, Dolphins RB Ronnie Brown left the game with an apparent knee sprain and will have an MRI done today to determine the extent of the injury. There are rumors–just rumors–swirling that there might be some ACL damage there, which would be a very bad thing for the already bad Dolphins, and absolutely devastating for his fantasy owners. Jesse Chatman relieved him and carried it 7 times for 73 yards and a score, and should be picked up immediately in all leagues. Do it now and stick it to the Brown owners who failed to handcuff their stud back.

**UPDATE** Ronnie Brown is done for the year

- Marshawn Lynch is one tough sonofabitch, and if it wasn’t for the AP he’d be the class of the rookie running backs this year. He looks like a load of bricks to tackle, he hits the holes with reckless abandon, he’s shifty and he’s extremely strong. The Ravens were the NFL’s best rushing defense heading into Sunday, and they’re still only giving up 71.9 yards on the ground, but Lynch managed an impressive and hard-fought 84 yards and a score on the ground even though Baltimore was stacking the box. Lynch is also getting more involved in the passing game, catching 3 balls for 14 more yards.

- The stats do lie. Willis McGahee was doing absolutely nothing all day, then he busted off a 46-yard TD that made it look like he was being productive. McGahee finished with a 6.0 YPC, but at one point he had 8 rushes for just 11 yards, and if you subtract that big gainer he only ran for 3.7 YPC, which is more in line with what we’ve come to expect the last three years. Another trend worth noting is the performance of the Buffalo defense at home. They continue to cover the spread when they host teams in upstate New York, and it’s mostly because that defense plays with a lot of fire in their bellies.

- Clinton Portis was another player who didn’t look good but had a healthy fantasy day. He managed 2 TDs, but took 18 rushes for just 43 yards and an ugly 2.4 YPC. Ladell Betts only got 3 carries, but don’t go dropping him just yet. Portis looks hurt to us, and it could be only a matter of time before Betts is racking up 100-yard games again. Patience.

- As you’ve probably gathered by now, we’re no fans of kickers here at ETB, and the record-breaking performance on Sunday by the Tennessee Titans’ Rob Bironas is a perfect example of why. Bironas set the all-time mark for most field goals made in a game by booting eight against the Texans, including the game winner as time expired. Sincere kudos to Bironas for making history, but he likely was a big reason why whomever was lucky enough to start him for their fantasy roster won this week in head-to-head leagues. For the record, over in The Ghosts of Wayne Fontes Blogger Invitational, Bironas’ 32 fantasy points made him the third highest scorer overall–behind just Tom Brady and Randy Moss. That ain’t right, folks.

- We take our hats off to Gary Kubiak, he’s really turned this Houston offense around. Despite injuries to their starting QB, their starting RB and their best offensive player, WR Andre Johnson, they keep chugging along. Matt Schaub went down in the first half with ankle and hip injuries, but the unheralded (and not very good) Sage Rosenfels proceeded to toss 4 TDs, all in the fourth quarter of a wild second-half comeback attempt for the Texans. Don’t go adding Rosenfels, who also threw 3 INTs, but that Andre’ Davis looks like the playmaker we saw glimpses of in Cleveland. Davis had 4 receptions for 88 yards, including a 53-yard TD that briefly put Houston in the lead. If they can ever get healthy and feature a Schaub-Johnson-Davis-Daniels passing game, the Texans should put up points and Schaub should be a great QB2.

- Early on in the Saints/Falcons barn burner, it looked like Drew Brees might build upon his decent showing against the Seahawks in Week 6 after he connected with Devery Henderson on a long 37-yard touchdown pass. He didn’t throw another one until 5 minutes left in the fourth, and that one was all Reggie Bush, who fought his way into the corner of the endzone for what proved to be the game-winning score. Brees wasn’t bad on the day (22-34, 219 yards, 2 TDs, 1 INT), but it’s starting to look clear that he won’t even come close to replicating those prolific stats from last year. The Saints got the win, and Bush actually had some room to run between the tackles for once, but this team still has a lot of work to do.

- With Sammy Morris out for up to a month, likely first-round fantasy pick Laurence Maroney was finally activated after sitting out three straight games because the Patriots don’t want him to blow up and have to pay him with a sore groin. Thank God you started him against that poor Dolphins rush defense: 6 carries, 31 yards, 0 TDs. Maroney was clearly a much better option on Sunday, than, say, Bengals RB Kenny Watson, who was mediocre in racking up 157 combined yards and 3 TDs. As a Maroney owner, I hate Belichick.

- Against the weak Bengals secondary, Laveranues Coles had a huge day despite the ducks his quarterback was throwing to him. Give him 8 catches for 133 yards and 2 TDs, the first time he’s gone over 100 yards receiving and the second time he’s caught two touchdowns in one game. While Coles and Pennington have established some chemistry over the years, we can’t help but wonder how much better both Coles and Jerricho Cotchery (finally scored, on the last play from scrimmage) would do with a quarterback with an NFL arm behind center. We might find out as soon as this week when the Jets host the Buffalo Bills.

- With All-World cornerback Champ Bailey watching from the sidelines, Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger threw more passes (35) than he has all season so far, finishing with 24 completions for 290 yards, 4 TDs, and 20 rushing yards. He did also lose a fumble and throw two picks, but it’d be hard for anyone who started him to quibble with the turnovers with that kind of overall performance. Three of his endzone strikes went to his tight ends (two for Heath Miller, one for Matt Spaeth) and one to ETB favorite Santonio Holmes, which exemplifies the diversity of this passing attack. Hines Ward returned to catch 7 balls for 78 yards, too. Roethlisberger might be an every week fantasy starter for the next six weeks with so many weak passing defenses on the docket: at CIN, vs. BAL, vs. CLE, at NYJ, vs. MIA, vs. CIN.

- We knew we could count on San Francisco 49ers QB Trent Dilfer to give us at least a few chuckles. In the ‘Niners blowout loss to the Giants, Dilfer actually managed to throw 2 TD passes and was even huffing and puffing on a few rollout passes. He also turned it over three times (one a fumble after being sacked by Osi Umeniyora, who picked it up and returned it 75 yards into the endzone), and on one sack early in the game he literally just fell over like a sack of potatoes. ETB has confirmed it was because he’s a very top-heavy man.

- Speaking of being unenthused about seeing actual playing time, did anyone catch Dallas Cowboys backup QB Brad Johnson looking sheepish and doing his best to blend into the bench, like a chameleon, when it looked like Tony Romo might be hurt? The 39-year-old vet is clearly most comfortable holding a clipboard at this stage in his career, and we’d hate to see his jersey get wrinkled if forced into spot fill-in duty for Romo.

- How long can Brad Childress keep this up? After Adrian Peterson galloped into the endzone on another masterful first-quarter run, he appeared set for a very fine day against a shaky Dallas rush D. Then, inexplicably, Peterson only touched the ball nine more times on Sunday. He finished with just 12 rushing attempts for 63 yards (a healthy 5.3 YPC). It’s not complicated: AP is the best player on your team, Mr. Childress–give him the ball.

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