ETB’s NFL Week Six Crystal Ball

- The Season's Over -

ETB’s NFL Week Six Crystal Ball

October 13, 2007

We’re into bold predictions here at ETB. We love analyzing and second-guessing other people’s picks, but we’ll also put ourselves on the line as well. That’s why in the days leading up to Sunday every week we’ll both be gazing into our crystal ball and posting the daring predictions that come to us. This week we even got some help from an old buddy, the Oracle at Delphi.

Many will come true, but more of them will not. That’s why we’re going to be bragging about them when we hit it. Repeatedly. And when they don’t, well, you’ll have to let us know about it because we won’t be bringing it up. Ladies and Gents, it’s ETB’s NFL Week Six Crystal Ball.

Bennett is Huge

Andrew’s Predictions:

1. There are certain fantasy explosions that had such a massive impact on the season and were so remarkable you never forget them. They come to define that player. Events such as Drew Bennett‘s three-game stretch in late 2004. Bennett went off for 28 receptions, 8 touchdowns and 517 yards receiving. It was lighting in a bottle, never to be captured again, but the talent, size and hands are still there. This week the Rams go into Baltimore, and they should end up throwing for most of the second half. The Baltimore secondary is soft, and they struggle mightily against bigger WRs. With Gus Frerotte under center and Isaac Bruce on the sidelines, the 6’5″ Bennett goes off again: 7 receptions, 110 yards, 2 TDs.

2. The Cowboys defense has put up some good numbers so far this season, but they haven’t really been tested by a real NFL offense since the Giants hung 35 on them in Week 1. It should be a good game, but I fully expect the Patriots offense to tear them a new one. With their CB issues and lack of pass rush, obviously Randy Moss, Donte’ Stallworth and Wes Welker should post strong numbers. However, the biggest mismatch may be the athletic Benjamin Watson against S Roy Williams and company underneath. I see another 5 receptions and another TD in the works.

3. Another TE, Chris Cooley, is going to have his best game of the season on Sunday. So far he’s been limited to just 10 receptions and 80 yards in four games, though he has managed 3 TDs. The Packers are giving up a lot to opposing TEs, and Cooley takes advantage. With Antwaan Randle El sidelined and Santana Moss struggling with the Packers constant press coverage, Jason Campbell leans on Cooley and he finishes with 7 receptions for 65 yards and a score.

4. The NFL’s leading sackmeister Osi Umenyiora eats undrafted rookie Renardo Foster alive in front of his horrified family: 3 sacks and 1 forced fumble.

5. It’s fair to say that I’m an unabashed Brandon Jacobs fan/apologist– I really don’t think the Week 1 injury had much to do with his height or upright running style. In any event, he’s back now and poised to get around 25 touches against the Falcons this weekend. Derrick Ward will be limited, if he plays at all, and Jacobs is going to see the ball early and often and over the course of the game his sheer size, aggressiveness and hard running style will wear Atlanta out. He’ll end up with around 130 total yards, but 40 yards and a TD will come in the 4th quarter.

6. Going back to the TE theme for a minute, I have a strong gut feeling about emerging star Greg Olsen this weekend. Specifically, that he’s going to eat up the slower and older Vikings safeties down the seam. He came out and hung 57 yards and a TD on the Packers last week, and Brian Griese will start to trust him more and more as the season wears on. He’s 6’5″ tall, 252 lbs., very fast for a TE and has sure hands. Even though Minnesota has been stout against the position, this week they give up 4 receptions, 50 yards and a score to Olsen.

7. Thanks to one massive game, Kevin Curtis has very respectable numbers overall. They really don’t show just how often this shifty wideout is getting open though. He’s unlikely to ever replicate the 11-reception, 221-yard, 3-TD performance he dropped on the Lions in Week 3, but against the Jets on Sunday he has another great game: 6 catches, 95 yards, TD.

8. Vincent Jackson makes Nnamdi Asomugha look bad on Sunday, especially in the red zone. Playing in front of the home crowd, Vincent scores twice.

9. Cleo Lemon could not have asked for a better matchup in his second career start. The Browns pass defense is pathetic, giving up 267 yards a week through the air (second-worst in the NFL) and having already surrendered 15 passing TDs in just 5 games with only 3 INTs. The athletic and strong-armed Lemon plays admirably, posting 2 TDs and 280 yards passing, and keeps John Beck at bay for at least another week.

10. Finally given consistent looks for the first time since his strong 2004 campaign in Minnesota, Nate Burleson makes his fantasy owners proud with a combination of good hands on the sidelines and strong moves after the catch on slant routes, finishing with 6 receptions for 90 yards and a score.

Brian’s Predictions:

Maroney will stomp on the Cowboys

1. After missing the past two games with what Bill Belichick deemed a “groin problem,” Laurence Maroney is back in the starting lineup and solidifies his status as the team’s RB1 by scoring twice and racking up 125 combined yards.

2. You’re starting to wear on our nerves, Demetrius Williams. All these predictions about you blowing up and scoring touchdowns and saving the world from evil men are making us look like the broadside of a donkey’s ass. An especially ugly donkey, too. You have not delivered on any account. This is your last chance for props from ETB (for at least a few weeks). You’re going to score. A touchdown. Maybe it’ll be your only catch, but it’s a TD. It better be.

3. Cleveland Browns QB Derek Anderson comes out firing against the overrated Dolphins secondary, hooking up with Braylon Edwards for an early, long TD pass, then connecting with fill-in RB starter Jason Wright on a short swing pass that Wright takes to the house.

4. Team Bungles couldn’t do anything right against the Patriots in Week 4, but after a bye week to ~~sit around and smoke pot~~ get their heads straight–or at least as straight as Bungle heads can get–the offense explodes behind two Chad Johnson TDs and another score for T.J. Houshmandzadeh.

5. Is this the week that Drew Brees finally gets the New Orleans Saints’ offense back on track with a strong performance in Seattle? In a word, no. Seahawks 27, Saints 13.

6. If Vinny Testaverde starts–and right now, it doesn’t look good for David Carr–the just-signed QB born late in the Paleolithic Era will throw at least one TD pass. That’s not saying much, but we’re talking about a guy who was the first overall pick in the NFL draft 20 years ago.

7. Criticize him all you want, but no one slaps their helmet’s earholes better than Falcons’ starting-QB-for-now Joey Harrington. Pursuant to Andrew’s Umeniyora prediction above, Harrington does the earhole slap a minimum of five times before Alge Crumpler approaches him on the sideline and volunteers to slap his head for him. Hard.

8. The NFL’s least popular team, the Jacksonville Jaguars, silently continue their march towards a possible playoff run by completely stymying the Texans offense and winning the game behind yet another strong, near mistake-free performance by QB David Garrard. To be specific, Garrard goes 18-24, 210 yards, 2 TDs, 0 INTs.

9. Another AFC South quarterback, Vince Young, bounces back from his dismal three-turnover performance against the Falcons in Week 5 by single-handedly winning this game for the Titans down in Tampa Bay. He gets off to a slow start, but a 40+ yard run gets his confidence back where it should be, and he goes on to finish with nearly 300 combined yards and accounts for 3 TDs.

10. We’re all looking forward to seeing Terrell Owens and Randy Moss face off late Sunday afternoon, but for the Cowboys it’s Patrick Crayton who does the most damage to the Patriots secondary. The Pats excel at taking away their opponents’ WR1, and much like WR2 Houshmandzadeh did for the Bengals in Week 4 against New England (10 receptions, 100 yards, 1 TD), Crayton goes for 8 catches, 103 yards, and 1 TD.

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