Empty the Bench

We’re all about daring predictions here at ETB. We love analyzing and second-guessing other people’s picks, but we also enjoy putting ourselves on the line as well. That’s why in the days leading up to Sunday every week we’ll both be gazing into our crystal ball and posting the resulting daring predictions.

Many will come true, but more of them will not. That’s why we’re going to be bragging about them when we hit it. Repeatedly. And when they don’t, well, you’ll have to let us know about it because we won’t be bringing it up. Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s ETB’s NFL Week 5 Crystal Ball.

Andrew’s Predictions:

1. With the more-than-capable Michael Pittman and strong goal-line option Ernest Graham waiting in the wings, the loss of Carnell Williams doesn’t really impact the Tampa Bay rushing attack like most predict. In fact, this week Pittman rushes for more yards than Williams has in any game so far with a better YPC that Williams’ season or career average.

2. While the Cardinals’ quarterback situation is muddled at best, Edgerrin James is clearly The Man in Arizona. He’s gotten nearly every carry all season. If that continues in The Edward Jones Dome, he’s going to be in line for a massive game against a beleaguered Rams defense: Edge puts up 140 total yards and a pair of touchdowns.

3. With another poor first half by Cedric Benson, backup Adrian Peterson actually comes out and starts the second half. After the first series, the two split carries for the remainder of the game but Peterson plays well enough to earn more and more touches in the coming weeks.

4. This will be a big week for last season’s stud running backs. Larry Johnson and LaDainian Tomlinson have been disappointments thus far, but they both get healthy in Week Five. Playing against a Denver rush defense that isn’t what it used to be LT goes off for 180 total yards and 2 TDs. At home and forced to carry the load versus Jacksonville, another rush defense in retreat, Larry Johnson puts up 135 yards and a score.

5. I’m not a Maurice Jones-Drew fan, but the Kansas City Chiefs are a nice matchup for him and Jacksonville needs to figure out how to get their most dynamic playmaker more involved in the game. He rewards loyal owners, at least this week, with around 110 total yards and a score.

6. While the Detroit Lions offense puts up tons of points, they’re still among the NFL leaders in turnovers and sacks allowed. Despite the gut reaction to the matchup on paper, the Washington Redskins DEF makes for a solid fantasy play this week and winds up as a top-5 performer.

7. The Tampa Bay defense is far better than advertised, and I’ll be the first to admit that I didn’t see this coming. I pretty much thought they’d be ready to roll over and die, but shame on me, and shame on anybody who thinks that’s going to happen in the RCA Dome on Sunday. Don’t get me wrong, the Colts are going to win this game, but it’s going to be a lot closer than most people think.

8. Jason Campbell really isn’t a very good fantasy option at this point in his career, but when I watch him I see flashes of a very solid pro who will emerge over the next two seasons. This week he faces the defense that made McNabb look like Carson Palmer in Week Three, and Campbell throws for at least 260 yards and 2 TDs.

9. Against a struggling offensive line in a must-win game, Julius Peppers plays like the difference maker he is: 3 sacks, 5 tackles.

10. When constructing our weekly ETB Rankings I refused to let this enter into my decision making, and yet the gut instinct remains: David Carr, the QB who managed to make Andre Johnson a star in an otherwise anemic offense, makes amends with Stevonne Smith this weekend. The New Orleans secondary stinks and the Panthers are extremely good at getting Smith the ball in space, and this weekend Carr finds him 6 times for 95 yards and a score.

Brian’s Predictions:

1. The New Orleans Saints finally win one–barely–thanks to two Marques Colston touchdowns, over 120 combined yards for Reggie Bush, and a late interception by David Carr.

2. In the same game, just when we thought DeShaun Foster had a firm grasp on the featured back role in Carolina, he fumbles for the third time in two weeks. DeAngelo Williams promptly breaks a swing pass and takes it to the house, then gets most of the second-half carries.

3. They won’t sack Chad Pennington as many times as they did Donovan McNabb, but the New York Giants defense are going to get to the immobile Jets QB early and often and force him into at least three turnovers, including one fumble.

4. After the feverish Demetrius Williams media blitz on ETB in the preseason, we should probably walk away from any further hype about the Ravens WR with our tail between our legs. That’s not going to happen: after four weeks of being shut out of the endzone, the team’s 2006 fourth-round draft pick finally gets one.

5. After allowing Justin “Fargs” Fargas to run for over 170 yards in one half, the woeful Miami Dolphins rush defense obliges another running back with no business putting up such stats. This time it’s Old Man Dayne, who dosey-dos into the endzone two times.

6. Combined points in the Jacksonville at Kansas City thriller: 26.

7. With Anquan Boldin in street clothes, the St. Louis Rams focus on containing his counterpart, Larry Fitzgerald, but forget about Bryant Johnson’s downfield ability. The fifth-year vet nearly replicates the stats of Week 4’s star fill-in, Houston’s Andre’ Davis, by catching 6 passes for 130 yards and a TD.

8. Kevin Jones sparks the Detroit Lions offense late in the fourth quarter by breaking off a 35-yard run that sets up a Calvin Johnson TD. Lions win 24-14.

9. Bloated and stuffed from what he later said was all that “succulent pesto pasta, imported ceviche, and Hoagies… oh, those Hoagies” at the team’s pre-game meal, Trent Dilfer sleepwalks his way through the first half against the Ravens. After turning it over two times and failing to move his team into scoring position, HC Mike Nolan thinks about inserting backup Shaun Hill. Then he realizes it’s Shaun Hill and lets Dilfer finish the game. Dilfer drowns his sorrows over the 13-27, 135 yards, 0 TDs, 3 TOs effort with a post-game box of Hostess cupcakes–half chocolate, half vanilla.

10. Number of times ESPN color analyst Ron Jaworski silently considers the ramifications of choking ESPN schlub Tony Kornheiser during the second half of Monday night’s Dallas Cowboys blowout of the Buffalo Bills: 12.

Actual Output: Jaworski thought about it 13 times in the pre-game show alone.