Empty the Bench

Fox Sport’s obnoxious talking head Bill Mass was arrested over the weekend, and it doesn’t look good. I always knew there was something wrong with this guy, outside of being a loudmouth moron, and now we finally have some proof. While not quite in Marv Albert territory, this has to be pretty embarrassing. Maas was apparently set to celebrate the weekend in a big way as he was (wait for it) . . . loaded for bear. Zing!

The 45-year-old Maas and a passenger in his Hummer, Sarah J. Murphy, 27, were arrested late Friday by Illinois State Police. During the stop, police indicated Maas seemed nervous, and he agreed to a search of his vehicle.

Police found a .22-caliber revolver, 5 grams of suspected marijuana, 6 grams of suspected cocaine and 28 pills of Ecstasy. Maas and Murphy were charged with possession of a controlled substance and possession of marijuana. Maas was also booked on a charge of unlawful use of a weapon.

I have no idea what the former Kansas City Chiefs All-Pro intended to do with that young woman in a vehicle loaded with drugs and firearms in the middle of nowhere, but I’m imagining something along the lines of Jacques Renault’s cabin in Twin Peaks. Creepy. Where are the Bookhouse Boys when you need them? According to officials the former defensive tackle is charged with possession of a controlled substance (the felony variety) as well as unlawful use of a weapon. Suffice it to say, I don’t think we’ll be hearing him profess man-love for Brett Favre any time soon. This is an obvious blow to Maas fans everywhere, but a major coup for everybody else who intended to watch Fox NFL broadcasts this fall.