Empty the Bench

- Tank Johnson, the Chicago Bears defensive lineman guilty of storing Iran’s arsenal of weapons in his basement, ate enough junk food during his 60-day jail sentence to, well, feed Iran. All those beef sticks, and honey buns, and sausage blocks, and cheese spreads were in addition to the three meals provided each day. Wow.

- Daunte Culpepper will likely need a job very soon, and the New York Jets have been badly burned in the past when starting QB Chad Pennington went down with an injury. 2 + 2 = 4.

- Strip clubs hard up for cash are aghast that Pacman Jones has been formerly charged with two counts of felony coercion for that Las Vegas strip-club shooting. If he serves any jail time, where oh where will all the money come from now? Pacman alone is a nightly $10k industry for pete’s sake!

- Windy City Gridiron prefers not to publish rants, but can’t help themselves after reading ESPN’s John Clayton claim that the Indianapolis Colts are ushering in a new era of offensive-minded football that leads to Super Bowl championships.

- The Dallas Cowboys defense was dominating at times last year, and then it seemed like the gears stopped turning, the players stopped tackling, and the other team started scoring (even the Lions put up 39 on ‘em). Blogging the Boys analyzes five theories about what suddenly went wrong.

- Who does ESPN’s Mark Schlereth think has the NFC North’s best offense and defense? Does anyone really care what Schlereth thinks?

- Donovin Darius, released last week by the Jacksonville Jaguars, is getting up there in NFL years and is still recovering from pretty big injuries, but he’s very capable if/when healthy. One possible landing place for him is with the Carolina Panthers.

- There’s sooooooo many Cincinnati Bengals arrests to keep up with, so Larry Brown Sports has done us all a favor by ranking the most memorable, from “best” to “worst.” WR Chris Henry’s June 14, 2006, arrest for buying alcohol for three underage females takes the top spot.

- Former All-Pro Center Kent Hull makes the most obvious assertion of 2007. Gee, ya think?

- Minnesota Vikings Brad Childress makes a list, but obviously didn’t check it twice: “Troy [Williamson] has great hands,” he said.