Empty the Bench

The alt-title for this post is “Joakim Noah: LOL!”

Today in the Chicago Tribune, Florida Gators douchebag Joakim Noah became yet another butt of an inadvertent joke when an NBA “big man’s coach” said that in his estimation, the likely first-round draft pick projects a lot like Minnesota Timberwolves forward Mark Madsen. For those not following along at home, the six-year veteran Madsen has career averages of 2.3 points, 2.7 boards, and 0.2 blocks per game.

“I see him as a mid- to low first-round pick,” the coach said. That’s not exactly where most of the mock drafts—which Noah generally scorns as uninformed—have the Florida center. The coach likened Noah to Mark Madsen, the Timberwolves reserve. And though Madsen is listed two inches shorter, they did have similar statistics in college with Madsen averaging 10.9 points and 7.9 rebounds in his Stanford career and Noah 12 points and 8.4 rebounds. “Their skill is energy,” the coach said. If given the choice between Noah and Hawes, the coach said he’d want Hawes for his NBA potential.

Mmhmm. Note that little factoid that Noah “generally scorns” mock drafts, perhaps because he’s secretly kicking himself over not declaring for the draft last year when he could have been a top-three, perhaps even first overall, pick. Winning the Turnover Battle has more on Noah’s disdain for the mock draft, and for the “kids in basements” putting them together:

“I think mock drafts are a complete joke,” Noah said when told several mock drafts link him to the Charlotte Bobcats. “I heard a couple of guys who make the mock drafts are kids in basements. You read what these guys say, and they have no idea what they’re talking about.”

I can tell you with a great degree of certainty that most any of the “kids” doing mock drafts could inform Noah of one salient fact: that he blew a chance at the #1 spot by not leaving last year, and that by staying in he exposed his lack of a jumpshot and lack of consistency on the offensive end of the floor. But hey, what do I know, I’m just a kid with no idea what I’m talking about.