Empty the Bench

I wonder if Cris Collinsworth is pissed that Ocho-Cinco stole his thunder, or just pleased that thousands of people are learning for the first time that he actually played professional football. I’m guessing it’s the latter. On Friday, All-World athlete, entertainer and Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson announced that he’s challenged a horse to a footrace. “No big deal, I’ve raced dozens of horses . . . and won” you say? Well, this time it’s going to be on an official track with plenty of cameras. Plus, nobody will be slipping the horse moonshine before the race, either (I’m not accusing, I’m just saying). This is gonna be nice and legal official.

Hopefully Johnson will represent humanity well and fare a little better than Mr. Collinsworth did versus the formidable tandem of Mr. Hurry and Sir Trace.

The event will take place on June 9th at River Downs and all of the proceeds will go to a charity picked by Johnson, “Feed The Children.” It will be simulcast to more than 400 outlets across the country and in South America, but there is no word yet on what odds Chad is getting. “It’s going to be fun. Some of the things I’m going to be doing this year are crazy, and racing a horse is one of them,” Johnson said on Friday. “Some.” I really can’t imagine what he has planned next, but I hope it has something to do with flaunting the ridiculous NFL policy on touchdown celebrations.

I understand that a lot of sports fans don’t appreciate the attitude or the flashy styles of the modern athlete. I can empathize. But as long as the player isn’t breaking the law, disrespecting an opponent or detracting from their team’s ability to win games I have no problem with it. That’s why Chad Johnson has never bothered me, and why I thought the No Fun League’s attempts to crack down on his antics were counter productive. Yes, a real fan should take their team seriously, but let’s not lose track of the fact that these guys are entertainers. That’s what they do, and Chad’s good at it.