Empty the Bench

I know it’s considered sacriligeous in some circles to miss any playoff games, but, well, we missed both of ‘em last night while moving side to side, to and fro, back and forth, to the ’70s disco-dance funk meets Gang of Four punktronica sounds of “!!! (chk chk chk)” at ye olde Bowery Ballroom. Hotness, kids, and we recommend you check it out for yourself.

Anyway, long story short, the box scores tell us that the New Jersey Nets stayed alive with a 83-72 victory in Cleveland, despite scoring just 6 points in the fourth quarter. As he normally does, Jason Kidd held the torch for the Nets, scoring 20 points on 8-14 FG with 6 assists, 9 boards, 4 steals, and 2 blocks. Head-scratcher stat of the night: VC actually recorded more assists than Kidd, with 10 feeds.

Game 6 is Friday night in Jersey; Fear the Sword had this to say about Game 5:

In any sport, you know a team is dead when the Head Coach/Manager says before a huge game that “his team doesn’t need motivation, that they know what they need to do, it is just another game, etc…” are you kidding me? When the Cavs have a couple rings on their fingers, when the Cavs actually get past the 2nd Round, when the Cavs actually finish off a team not named the Washington Wizards, Mike Brown can say his team knows what it takes.

The other box score tells us that Suns’ fans were calling Bruce Bowen “choice names [he] had never heard before” (big yucky meanie? poopface maximus?) before he sunk a three-pointer with 36 ticks left to give the Spurs their first lead of the game. They went on to win 88-85 in a game that will forever be tainted by David Stern’s assinine exercise of authority in suspending Boris Diaw and Amare Stoudemire. To salute the NBA commish, we urge all NBA fans to do a quick Google search sometime today for “David Stern,” enlarge your favorite image, and raise your middle finger at the screen. Hold it for 5 seconds, close the window, and wait for the voodoo magic to work its wonders.

The Spurs now lead the series 3-2, with Game 6 Friday night back in Texas. Taking it to the Rack thinks you can now stick a fork in the Suns’ season:

By the end of last night’s game in Phoenix, it didn’t matter who was active or suspended. What mattered was that the Suns had controlled play for close to 45 minutes on their home floor…and all they had to show for it was a loss that put them on the brink of elimination as they head to San Antonio for Game 6. Who you are is irrelevant in that type of situation; this is a loss that would be a major blow to anyone.

As strong as the Suns are, and as much as they would be as capable a team as any of recovering from a game like last night’s, it won’t be enough. The Spurs smell blood, the excuses will come too easily for the Suns, and Duncan, Manu and the supporting cast have taken this San Antonio team too far in this series to blow it now.

Tonight in David Stern’s NBA:

Detroit at Chicago, 8pm, ESPN: We’re not sure what else to say about tonight’s monumental Game 6 other than, damn it, the Pistons better get their heads out of their asses and close this out. Sure, they still have home-court advantage and Game 7, if the Bulls win tonight, would be back in Auburn Hills. But after losing three straight games, how tense, how nervous, you think that home crowd would be Monday night?

We said it once, we’ll say it again: I’d like to enjoy my weekend to the fullest, thank you very much. Take care of business tonight and get this over with.