Empty the Bench

He was taken with the 8th overall pick in the 2004 NBA Draft by the Toronto Raptors, and is now lounging at the very end of Jerry Sloan’s bench in Utah. You’d think that one of the biggest lottery-pick busts in the past three years wouldn’t have much of a future ahead of him, at least in the NBA, with career averages of 2.8 points, 2.4 boards, 40% FG, and 0.1 blocks a game in about 11 minutes of action. Well, it’s true, Araujo probably isn’t long for this league, but at least he’s found an outlet to show the world what he’s really talented at—posing nude.

Araujo is set to appear buck naked in an upcoming edition of Brazil’s version of Playgirl, hopefully with lots of basketball-related props. Here’s some thoughts from Araujo, courtesy of Hoop and Harm magazine, via the Raptors Forum:

“It is not a big deal for one to be naked in Brazil, so for me, it didn’t really matter. I was actually flattered that they asked me.” Rafael Araujo, who now plays for the Utah Jazz is no stranger to new things. Coming out of high school, “Hoffa” made his way to BYU, where after hardly knowing any English, he completed his degree in 4 years.

“I was always proud of that, but I think I will be even more proud of this photoshoot. I think I live up to my the Brazilian Beast nickname.”

Huh huh snort chuckle huh huh wheeze huh. Araujo then grabbed his crotch, hawked a loogie, farted, and turned on reruns of The Man Show (season two, his favorite). At time of publication, ETB was unable to confirm that, like their son, Araujo’s parents were also more proud of his photoshoot than his college degree.

Big ups to Ryan over at Hoops Addict for the tip.

UPDATE: I’ve been had by an April Fool’s Joke! Jay at raptorsforum.com got me, so kudos to you, sir. It just sounded so… believable, considering the subject.

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