Empty the Bench

You may have noticed a lack of NCAA Tournament coverage here at Empty the Bench. Well, there’s a good reason for it, and it’s not just because we have difficulty getting too excited about college basketball (and college sports in general). While that’s certainly a factor, the main reason we haven’t filled out any NCAA brackets or bothered much with the tournament is because the real single-elimination tourney is also underway, the one for all the marbles, the one we’ve been looking forward to all year: the NBA Dance Team Bracket!

That’s right, it’s time to vote your favorite NBA dance team all the way to the finals, baby, and personally we think this is going to be the most competitive dance-off yet. The Heat Dancers come in as the defending champs and overwhelming favorite, but boy howdy, they could have to deal with those formidable Knick City Dancers in the semi-finals, so the field is wide f-in open. The drama… the suspense… the intrigue!

NBA.com has the bracket and matchups, with first-round voting already begun in both conferences. The Kings Dance Team, which looks to only enlist one or two trannies, and the Heat Dancers both have Round 1 byes; both teams are using the time off to study their game plans, watch tape of their opponents, and get extra shots of collagen in the lips and ass.

Who do we like to win it all? The Pacemates will be tough to deal with; they’ve already beaten the Cleveland Cavalier Girls, and just look at the lead photo on their homepage! I wouldn’t want to meet them in a dark alley. Also, Allison LOVES ketchup, so they have that going for them too.

I’m picking Detroit’s Automotion as the darkhorse winner, though. These girls are hard-working, dedicated dancers who know how to get the job done. Yo, those TV time-out routines are jumpin’. Their first-round opponent, the Luvabulls, were rumored to have called them ‘ruthless bitches who’ll do anything to win,’ but that’s just not true. Let’s just say they’re calendar girls with an edge.

Cast your votes before it’s too late, NBA dance team fans. This is the real deal, so forget about Greg Oden and Al Horford—the players to watch are Nicole Hurdle and Jayme Magee (note where the “click to play” link is located for the Dancer Calendar Video on her profile).

Former Philadelphia Phillies and Detroit Tigers closer Ugueth Urbina received his sentence in Venezuela today for assault stemming from an honest misunderstanding in 2005. ESPN reports Urbina received 14 years in prison for what was technically referred to as, ‘Attempted Murder’, but that term is so overused these days it’s practically lost all meaning.

On October 16th, 2005 Urbina returned home to find several of his employees swimming in his pool without permission. Uggie told them in no uncertain terms that he did not appreciate the liberty they had taken, then left the scene to knock a few back. Later, he and several of his friends chased the men with machetes, rounded them up, bound them, continued assaulting them physically, then poured gasoline and paint thinner on them and set several of the men on fire. Big deal. They were swimming in his pool! Unauthorized! They probably didn’t even bring their swimsuits and thought it was OK to just swim in their boxers. Uncool. I say they got off lightly. The attorney for the victims, Wuanyer Perez, was pleased with the sentence, saying:

“We think it is an excellent sentence. The victims consider this an important example that anyone with power, influence and money is not above the law,” Perez said. “It is an example for the entire world, not just for Venezuela, that everyone is on equal ground when it comes to the law and justice.”

Hippie. Just months earlier, Ugueth had been involved in another alcohol and violence related incident, this time involving teammates on a Detroit Tigers team flight:

Booth Newspapers reported on Thursday that Urbina was traded because he “drank too much and fought with teammates on the team flight to Los Angeles Sunday night.”

“That’s not why I got traded,” Urbina said. “I got traded because I wanted to get traded. I didn’t want to be there.”

So what happened on the plane? Sources in Detroit and Philadelphia say he drank too much, infuriated teammates and became involved in fights with reliever Kyle Farnsworth and others.

Contrary to what Uggie said, that is why he got traded from the Tigers to the Philadelphia Phillies. Whatever, that Farnsworth guy is a jerk. He’s got a big mouth, probably had it coming. I bet he never brings his suit.

New York Yankees fans, especially, might recall that last year the Detroit Tigers came out of nowhere to handily win the American League behind clutch hitting, gutty managing, and perhaps even guttier pitching (Cardinals fans, shut your mouths). With almost the entire squad returning—relief pitcher Jamie Walker bolted for big Baltimore bucks—along with the addition of power hitter Gary Sheffield, the outlook is again very bright for the Tigers.

They’re playing in perhaps baseball’s toughest division (the Indians, White Sox, and Twins all figure to push for a playoff spot), but fans have to feel more than comfortable with the batting lineup, pitching staff, and coaching staff Detroit will field against their competition.

Tigers insider Danny Knobler says this spring training was the best one for the Tigers since 1981, at least record-wise. Beyond that, however, he has a few other positive signs sure to get Motown excited for Opening Day against Roy Halladay and the Toronto Blue Jays:

Tonight’s 7-5 win over the Braves gave the Tigers a 19-10-1 record this spring. It’s their most spring wins since they went 23-11 in 1981 (they were 18-15-1 last year). Now, what does that mean? Probably nothing. The ’81 Tigers weren’t bad (in a strike year), but they didn’t win.

For what it’s worth, three different out-of-town writers told me tonight that they’re picking the Tigers to win the World Series. What does that mean? Only a little bit more. The fact is that the Tigers have had a great spring, and they look great. Then again, the biggest mistakes I’ve made in judging teams is when I change what I think based on how a team looks in the spring.

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Anyone remember the Fresh Prince daydreaming about taking Isiah Thomas to school? We’re almost positive that after this was shot, Isiah turned to the film crew and said, “Y’all know I was letting him do that, right? He’s not really better than me. OK. Just making sure.”

Yahoo! Sports has been on an uncharacteristic roll these past two days. In the San Antonio Spurs – Golden State Warriors box score from Monday night, they listed “Old Age!” as the reason for Robert Horry’s DNP (it’s since been changed to “Injury,” so thanks to True Hoop for the screen shot). Now today (via Rotowire) they publish an update on Tennessee Titans running back Lendale White under the headline “Lendale White: Getting Fat.”

We like it. It’s to the point, it states the facts, and it’s honest to a T because according to that report, White is indeed packing on the pounds Big Daddy Wilkinson style:

White tipped the scales at more than 260 pounds earlier this month while working out in Tennessee’s offseason program, underscoring the physical conditioning concerns that in part caused him to fall to the second round of the 2006 draft, Yahoo Sports reports.

More than 260! Lendale, my man, listen up: when you consume (significantly) more calories than you burn, you gain weight. It’s a simple formula. Two boxes of Twinkies, one box of Ding-Dons, a chocolate-covered cheesecake, and four straight hours of Full House reruns? You gain weight. A healthy breakfast, sensible lunch, and modest dinner with a little weightlifting and running mixed in? Probably won’t gain weight. As a professional athlete, that’s all you have to do right now. Eat right and work out. Easy. Done. Next.

Y! Sports Charles Robinson has a little more on the White situation:

Now the Titans are looking at candidates to fill out their backfield and push White, who apparently left the team in shape after last season but gained around 30 pounds before returning for the offseason program. It was only one year ago that talent evaluators were opining that White’s weight would likely be a constant battle in his career, after he showed up to the NFL scouting combine in Indianapolis at 238 pounds, and then USC’s pro day at 244. This after White admitted that he played in the national championship game against Texas at over 250 pounds.

“[LenDale] is no different than any other young player,” said Fisher, who would not expound on White’s reported heavy weigh-in. “He needs the competition. You don’t hand the job to him. The job has not been handed to him. Hopefully we’ll have somebody in there to compete with him. He’s a very competitive, tough, talented young running back. I think he’s got a chance to be very good.”

There’s also a chance he’ll eat his way out of the NFL. I’m a Vince Young fan, and the Titans have enjoyed more than their fair share of ignominy over the past season or so (Albert Haynesworth, Pacman, the Steve McNair situation), so I hope they catch a break some time soon and get their team headed back in the right direction. That starts with the highly touted White rededicating himself to his profession.

Before he became enthralled with acquiring small forwards with high salaries and similar talents, New York Knicks head coach/GM Isiah Thomas was the ballsy point man who led the Detroit Pistons to back-to-back NBA titles in 1989 and 1990. And according to the Beacon Journal, Thomas recently dropped this juicy nugget at the feet of Lebron James as to what it took to push his team over the top:

Isiah Thomas once felt the pressure to lead his Detroit Pistons to a championship, the sort that is building on James with the Cavs now. The New York Knicks coach had one piece of advice for James before the game Friday:

“Do you want to be loved or do you want to win a championship?” Thomas told FSN-Ohio’s Fred McLeod. “I don’t know of any great players that were loved in the locker room who won a championship. Guys I played with might love me now, but they didn’t love me then.”

Very interesting, both the advice and the fact that Isiah willingly volunteered something semi-negative about himself. Of course, he couldn’t help but slip in the part about how his old teammates “might love [him] now,” but for Isiah, this basically amounts to a confessional with the Pope.

He makes a great point though: one of the few aspects lacking (at times, Cavs fans, settle down) in Lebron’s game still is his killer instinct and ability to push his teammates to overachieve. Currently surrounded by capable-yet-inconsistent guys like Drew Gooden, Larry Hughes, Big Z, and Donyell Marshall, it’s going to take just that for ‘Bron to will his team past the second round of the playoffs. Lebron, himself, is going to be a bitch to deal with, I can already tell. The rest of his team? That remains to be seen.

You already know we have mad love for Amir Johnson. After we found out that the uber-talented young man is actually enjoying his time playing in the D-League for the Sioux Falls Skyforce, well, we like him that much more. How often do you read about guys like Johnson actually turning down a chance to rejoin his NBA team? The answer, friends, is never.

The Argus Leader reports that Detroit Pistons team president Joe Dumars, along with the team’s vice-president of basketball operations, John Hammond, approached Johnson about what he preferred to do for the rest of the season. Showing maturity and admirable loyalty to his fellow D-League teammates, Johnson said ‘thanks, but no thanks’, which was just fine with Hammond and the Pistons:

The Pistons called early last week and gave him the option of returning to the NBA or staying in Sioux Falls for the rest of the D-League season – including a run at the title.
“I told them I wanted to stay,” says the 2005 second-round draft pick, relaxing in a booth at a local pancake house. “In Detroit, I kind of got depressed not playing, because I’m a young guy and I want to show what I can do.

I’m having a blast right here, and we’ve got a chance to finish with a championship.”

Of course, Johnson is still the property of the Pistons, who can summon him at any time to fill a need. But the kid’s devotion to the D-League impressed team president Joe Dumars. “Joe’s thinking was, ‘Let’s have Amir vested in this decision,’ ” says John Hammond, Detroit’s vice president of basketball operations. “And it shows you an awful lot about Amir Johnson that he’s committed to helping (the Skyforce) win. There are a lot of players who feel like, ‘If I’m in the D-League, get me out of there and back to the NBA as soon as possible.’ But Amir wants to keep playing – and keep winning.”

Johnson has also made quite an impression on Skyforce head coach Mo McHone:

“He just wants to be in the game, and it means something for him to win,” says McHone of the former California Mr. Basketball, who played in 17 D-League games as a rookie with the Fayetteville (N.C.) Patriots.

As for Johnson’s dunking skills – he thrilled Arena fans with several windmill jams during the weekend sweep of Tulsa – McHone and assistant Nate Tibbetts admit to being in awe. “When it comes to that stuff,” says McHone, “he’s definitely the best that I’ve ever coached. He was going in for the slam, and I was worried that the defender would run into him and maybe they’d collide,” says McHone. “Amir came back to the bench and said, ‘If that was going to happen, Coach, I would have jumped over him.’ And I believe that he would have.”

Clearly there’s a lot to like about Amir Johnson and his potential to develop into a quality NBA player. He still has a loooooong way to go, but we’re certainly not the only ones who think Johnson’s future is very, very bright.

As ETB whiles away the time until the NBA postseason and MLB opening day, we continue our series of grocery-list inspired NBA pieces. Today, we take a look at the the most overpaid players in the Association. The players’ 2006-07 salary is the standard of measurement. Additional or previous years on the contract are taken into account, but this is a list of who is most overpaid this season. It would have been too facile to load the list with players who have missed the entire year due to injury, so I’ve tried to stay away from them when I can. Some are mentioned, but we’re primarily interested in the guys who fans expected to see on the court this season.

In selecting these players, I also didn’t want to make the obvious choices. It’s no fun if everybody knows exactly who is on this list and why before they read it. It’s even less fun when everybody agrees, so there are some very controversial selections.

Working within the above criteria, a few types of players emerge. There are the talented, but chronically injured. Players who can help their teams win, but they just can’t stay on the court enough to earn their pay. There are underachievers: players who aren’t bad at all, but they’re just not as good as they should be and they don’t improve their teams enough to warrant the money they’re making. There are guys who were once worth what they’re getting paid, but their skills have since degraded while their contracts have inflated. And then, of course, there are the guys who just plain suck.

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Is there an official award for “The NBA’s Play of the Year?” If there is, close the ballot box, send the judges home, sign the checks: Rasheed Wallace just wrapped it up tonight, tout de suite.

Here’s how it happened: with the Detroit Pistons trailing by 3 points, Chauncey Billups missed a three-pointer and the rebound went out of bounds off Antonio McDyess with 1.5 seconds remaining in the game. Denver took the ball out on Detroit’s side of the court with the game seemingly over, but Rasheed Wallace swiped the inbounds pass, turned, and nailed a three-pointer from 3/4 court off the backboard as time expired! You won’t see a more clutch, more improbable shot all season. HOT.

‘Sheed wasn’t done yet though: he came back to hit another difficult three-pointer to tie the game at 106 with under a minute left in OT, then calmly sank two free throws that pretty much sealed the Pistons’ thrilling 113-109 comeback win over the Denver Nuggets. Wow. What a game. Give me a regular season NBA game like this one over any NCAA Tournament contest any day.

Here’s video:

This little nugget basically amounts to total speculation and 100% heresay, but a good idea is a good idea, and this trade scenario makes a lot of sense for both teams. Sekou K. Smith says in the Hawks Blog that Jarrett Jack might be moved this summer by Portland, and that his game solves one of the Hawks’ missing links:

The word is the Blazers love former Tech star Jarrett Jack, but think Brandon Roy is really a PG (and they have ample insurance in promising rookie Sergio Rodriguez), and might be willing to part with Jack for a much-needed small forward … can you think of a team loaded with small forwards that is in dire need of a young point guard? Jack is solid. His only real weakness right now is his outside stroke, which is streaky at best. But he can run a team, knows how to take charge late in games and is the ultimate facilitator for NBA teams because his ego is already in check (he’s not busy trying to show he’s the man all the time, which is the curse of some young PGs).

We’re big fans of Jack here at ETB, recently naming him to our Top 10 NBA Fantasy Surprises of ’07 team. We already said this in that article, but in some ways he reminds us of Chauncey Billups (especially his build and rapidly developing floor-general mindset), except he’s much farther along now than Mr. Big Shot was at this stage of his career. He’s suffering through a bit of a slump at the moment, but this is still a young guy in just his second full NBA season, so a few ups and downs along the way can be expected.

Like Smith says, however, the Blazers are pretty stocked at the point guard position with young talent, which makes Jack expendable for the right price. Working a deal with the Hawks makes perfect sense: Atlanta has a surplus of ‘tweener guards/forwards and a shortage of star power at point guard, while Portland could use more stability on the wing, especially if Travis Outlaw leaves as a free agent this summer. Could these teams work out a Jack for, say, Josh Childress trade? Would the Hawks still be interested if the talented but troubled Zach Randolph had to be included, and they had to give up more of their young talent or a 1st-round pick?

We obviously have no idea if anything will ever come of this rumor, but we’d love to see Atlanta acquire a guard like Jack. Factor in a healthy Joe Johnson, along with the continued development of Josh Smith and Marvin Williams (and ZaZa Pachulia), and a guy like Jack might add just enough to push them into the playoffs next season.