Empty the Bench

We’re not sure if his team is ready for the regular season yet (and to get knocked around by the Twins, Tigers, and Indians), but it looks like Chicago White Sox manager and MLB’s official x-rated quote machine Ozzie Guillen is good to go. Guillen was in top form yesterday when he spoke with the Chicago Sun-Times and calmly, quietly gave his opinion of a possible 20-year reunion for his World-Series winning club of ‘05:

“Those ceremonies — ‘Oh, let’s bring back those guys from 2005,’ we’re all crippled and fucked up, pushing wheelchairs, kids crying because his dad was on the ballclub — fuck that,” Guillen said. ”I don’t need that bull. A bunch of fat guys, another one is broke. ‘Hey, where’s your ring?’ ‘Oh, I don’t know, I sold that son of a bitch two years ago.’”

There you have it, kids: all your favorite players on your favorite team turn out to be crippled, overweight, impoverished embarassments after their playing days are over. Ozzie Guillen is not sorry to burst your bubble.