Empty the Bench

The NBA regular season is a grueling one, and Empty the Bench has a certain amount of empathy for the bottom-feeding teams in the league that will get nothing more than a few extra ping-pong balls in the draft lottery for their efforts. So we thought it’d be humanitarian of us to profile one of the five worst teams in the Association, winning-percentage wise, every day this week and give you five reasons they’re still worth watching on your League Pass.

Our midweek spotlight shines on the cella-dwellin’ Bucks of Milwaukee, who suit up this evening against the road-weary Los Angeles Lakers with .361 winning percentage and 22-39 record overall. It’s been a very disappointing season thus far for a team that sneaked into the playoffs last year as the 8th seed and made a few offseason moves they hoped would nudge them up a bit further in the ranks. It hasn’t happened, not even close, for a few reasons.

The infirmary report in Milwaukee has been grim. Their only legitimate all-star caliber player on the squad, the sharp-shooting guard Michael Redd, missed 20 games between January 8 and February 20; in his absence, the Bucks only won three times. Beyond Redd, guard/forward Bobby Simmons is out for the season, key addition Charlie Villanueva has missed 25 contests and failed to make much of a consistent impact, and reserve center/energy guy Dan Gadzuric will probably be shut down until next year with a separated shoulder. Point guard Mo Williams has missed 10 games, too.

Head coach Terry Stotts is not long for his position, helping guide his team to one of the worst road records in the NBA at 9-26 and an embarassing intra-division record of 1-11 (their only win came against Detroit on opening night). Andrew Bogut, the first overall pick in the 2005 draft—ahead of Deron Williams and Chris Paul—has only slightly improved in his sophomore campaign.

In a word: yuck. But for all the reasons not to tune in when the Bucks take the court, there are a few things that could make their final 21 contests watchable:

1. Michael Redd knows how to put leather balls in buckets.

His shooting release ranks up there with Tayshaun Prince’s as one of the most unorthodox, but the former 2000 second-round pick is a pure scorer who can fill it up with the NBA’s best. Outside of perhaps Mo Williams, he’s the only guy the Bucks can consistently count on to shoulder the load, evident by his career high 19.9 shot attempts per game in 06/07. As a result, Redd is also putting up his most points (27.5) and three-pointers (2.3) per game.

It looks like the Ohio State Buckeye alum is eager to make up for all that missed time, too. Though he’s had a few off nights from the field, Redd single-handedly kept his team in it during a tough loss last weekend to the Chicago Bulls, going bonkers with 52 points—including eight 3-pointers—on 18-32 FG and 8-9 FT. He’s playing nearly 40 minutes a game, which gives you at least 8 minutes to take a break from the rest of the Bucks (you’ll probably need it).

2. Points a-plenty are a near guarantee every night.

Assuming at least three or four of the Bucks’ top scorers are healthy and in the lineup—Redd, Williams, Ruben Patterson, and Charlie Bell—Milwaukee will average around 100 every night… and their opponent a few more at 104. It’s not saying much, but that makes the Bucks the Eastern Conference’s second-best scoring team behind only the Washington Wizards; they also trail the Wiz as the East’s worst defensive team. The Memphis Grizzlies and Milwaukee Bucks are the top two teams opposing players like to see, with the Bucks allowing their combatants to shoot 47%. As a team, Milwaukee also blocks the least number of shots per game… mostly due to employing a center in Bogut who’d rather not bother with it.

3. One rising star and one freakshow at the point-guard position.

Mo Williams and Earl Boykins are both free agents this summer, which has to have General Manager Larry Harris sweating rings in his suit right now… especially when it comes to Williams, who ETB has listed as one of the top 12 players on the market. Some would argue that the shifty guard from Alabama is one of the most promising young guards in the league. He came in as a bargain second-round pick by the Utah Jazz in the 2003 draft before being shipped to Milwaukee, and is currently in the midst of his best professional season. As a starter for the Bucks, he’s putting up 18.3 points, 6.3 assists, 5.1 rebounds, 45% FG, and almost 86% from the charity stripe. That’s all going to translate into a nice payday in a few months for Mo, whether it comes from Milwaukee or not.

Earl Boykins came to the Bucks in a mid-season trade that sent Steve Blake to the Denver Nuggets, but unfortunately the tiniest man in the league hasn’t made much of a contribution yet due to nagging injuries. When he’s healthy, though, the dimunitive 5’5″, 133-pounder is a solid backup off the bench. Like Williams, he’s having a career season as well; between his time in Denver and Milwaukee, little Earl is averaging 14.8 points, 2.2 rebounds, and 4.3 assists a night. It’s hard to believe Boykins is now in his 9th season and playing on his 7th team.

4. 48-minute reminder that your team doesn’t have the NBA’s ugliest uniforms.

The Bobcats, Timberwolves, and Grizzlies aren’t far behind, but the Milwaukee Bucks take the cake for sporting the nastiest color schemes and logo in the NBA. Heck, you could make an argument for these being the worst in professional sports, though they’d face pretty stiff competition from the Florida Marlins and Minnesota Vikings, for starters.

At least the Bucks’ original logo was a little cute. The current one is just depressing; what is that, the insignia for a local hunting club’s team bowling shirts? Dark red, forest green, purple? No thanks. (UPDATE: The purple jerseys were thankfully discontinued after last season. Thanks to Rob for the note.) Memo to Milwaukee: if you want to ever sell jerseys outside of Wisconsin, you might consider yet another alternative for your team apparel. Pee-ew!

5. Introducing Energee!… and Seniorgee!… and Jr. Energee!

Like all NBA franchises, the Milwaukee Bucks employ a dance team to entertain, titillate, and amuse their fans. The Bucks’ 19-woman team is dubbed “Energee!” and are led by captain Lindsay, who likes to eat vanilla ice cream cones from McDonald’s and whose favorite colors are light blue and green, just in case you were wondering (bio).

Here at Empty the Bench, we want to ensure our readership is well-educated on every team’s ins and outs when you watch one of their games, and for a team with little going for them like the Bucks that includes, I guess, knowing their dancers. Start by meeting the whole bunch (we’re a little disappointed the “Energee! Holiday Photogallery” isn’t working… that photo of Santa is so damn enticing). Sign your little ones up for instructional dance class, and don’t forget about Seniorgee!, a “21-member squad that consists of men and women who are at least 60 years of age. They perform at select home games during the 2006-07 season.” Wonderful.

Monday: the Memphis Grizzlies
Tuesday: the Boston Celtics
Thursday: the Atlanta Hawks
Friday: the Charlotte Bobcats

Possibly Related Content:

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2. 20/20 Vision: Rookie Ramon Sessions Makes Milwaukee Bucks History


3. Five Reasons to Watch the NBA’s Five Worst: Boston Celtics


4. Five Reasons to Watch the NBA’s Five Worst: Atlanta Hawks


5. Five Reasons to Watch the NBA’s Five Worst: Charlotte Bobcats