Empty the Bench

Something tells us this guy is going to have a tough time getting a date for the rest of his life… or ever having a normal conversation with another human being, or getting a real job. But hey, if you get a little publicity for getting the lamest tattoo ever carved into your forehead, well, I guess it was all worth it.

The Mighty MJD pointed out a photo gallery on SI.com featuring tattoos from very serious fans. You can view all the dreadfulness here, but there’s no denying this kook his rightful claim to Worst Tattoo Ever… or “best,” depending on your sense of humor. Fittingly, this gentleman goes by the name of “Tattoo.” Simple, to the point, relevant. I like it. Folks, this ain’t a fake:

Apparently he did this as part of a stunt to get Lakers playoff tickets from a local radio station, and has also “been tasered by [rapper] Game, had mace squirted into his eye, and eaten worms.” Mmmhmm. We don’t have much to offer—a few discount movie coupons, a limited-edition Ben Wallace bobblehead, maybe some of my mom’s Xmas cookies—but if you’re out there, Tattoo, Empty the Bench would like to extend you a standing offer to eat from my cat’s litter box. Whenever you’re ready. No rush.

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