Empty the Bench

The long wait is drawing to a close. Yao Ming (Right, mistaking an all-too-eager Mehmet Okur for a bellboy) is scheduled to return to the lineup for the Houston Rockets in the next two weeks, and it can’t be soon enough. Yao was on the court before the Rockets 105-99 loss to the Atlanta Hawks Friday, taking jump shots with a large brace over his injured right knee. It was a welcome sight to his owners and basketball fans in general. The NBA is entering a new era where the dominant center is all but extinct, and Ming is a dying breed. It was also impossible for owners to replace his 52.5% FGs, 86.7% FTs, 9.4 boards, 25.9 points and 2.2 blocks a game. If you are a Ming owner and fortunate enough to be in a head-to-head league, then the fractured tibia Ming left in your stocking on December 23rd is water under the bridge. He should return slowly for the first week or so, but he will be back to full strength for the fantasy playoffs.

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The 2007 NBA All-Star game has come and gone, but its memory will live forever in the hard-hitting blog of Boston Celtics’ dancer Courtney. Courtney, shown here hiding under four layers of mascara, was voted by Celtics’ fans to represent her team as one of the 30 dancers in Vegas. The whole crew can be viewed here. For 1 week, Courtney blogged for the NBA about her adventures, including:

On waving from planes:

Today I went to the airport to do a Southwest Airlines promotion with Dominique Wilkins and Clyde Drexler. And we actually waved in the Southwest Airlines NBA Slam Dunk plane. I was posed along with Kimmie of the Sixers right next to Dominique Wilkins on a platform as he waved in the plane. Tons of pictures. And two of the dancers rode down the conveyer belt and we all unloaded the bags from the plane. A lot of fun. A lot of photos, a lot of fun. So now we just had lunch.

On people she looks up to:

There’s so many girls I look up to and aspire to be. It’s like when you’re a kid and you watch your favorite athelete, your favorite dancer, your favorite anything and you aspire to be that person. Sarah from the Knicks is an amazing inspiration to me. Lindsay from the Clippers is also an inspiration. Gina from the Phoenix Suns and Jackie from the Nets. Also, Laurie Ann Gibson has been an amazing inspiration to me, and I will forever work harder because of these people.

On her tastes in film:

It was an incredible, incredible feeling that I got to entertain the great entertainers. I’ve seen every Adam Sandler movie ever made — I mean I’m one of his biggest fans. I hit that last pose and I was literally eye-to-eye with him. It was incredible, I can’t even believe it.

The whole blog is a fascinating behind-the-scenes look at the trials and tribulations of being a professional NBA dancer, and has some hysterical photos of the girls just goofing around, too. And if you want to know more about Courtney, don’t miss her Celtics dancer bio, where you’ll find a quick Q&A session. Here’s just two teasers:

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be? “On the court at the TD Banknorth Garden, of course!”

If you could spend the day with anyone in the world, past or present, who would it be? “John Mayer, so he could sing to me all day.”

Charles Robinson, one of the better columnists over at Yahoo! Sports, today lists six somewhat marginal NFL players in line for handsome paydays this offseason. Topping his list is defensive end Dewayne White (yeah, I’ve never heard of him either):

With the excess cash rolling around and some very marginal ends landing nice deals last offseason (like Detroit’s Kalimba Edwards), White is set up for a big score. This despite never really reaching his potential with Tampa Bay and producing only 14 sacks in the last three seasons. But White is still plenty young (27), plenty skilled and ripe to cash in on a barren market at a pivotal position.

The money thrown around like parade confetti once the NFL’s free agency period begins is pretty absurd (see Antwaan Randle El), but still nowhere close to that of Major League Baseball. Where does all that MLB money come from anyway?

Point Guard

Days after being involved in the biggest trade that didn’t happen, New Jersey Nets PG and still- Joumana-hubby Jason Kidd played like team trainers pumped him full of Jolt cola. In the Nets’ 109-96 win on the road against moribund Sacramento, Kidd recorded a triple-double with 22 points, 10 assists, 13 rebounds. He didn’t skimp on other categories, either: 50% from the field, 4 three-pointers, and just one turnover. Unfortunately, Kidd will need to have nights like this almost all the time for the Nets to have a shot at the playoffs.

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We know it, you know it, a crying shame that former NBA cad Latrell Sprewell didn’t: when Kevin McHale offers you a 3-year, $21 million contract to make token appearances off the bench for an NBA franchise, you take the $21 million… even if it means your paltry salary will only allow you to feed your family a steady diet of prime-cut filet mignons, donuts glazed in silver, and Dom Perignon served in golden goblets. Otherwise, one day, when you break a promise to “share your life and fortune” with your girlfriend, you might end up owing her $200 million.

Sprewell, shown here regretting his decision to eat both #2 and #6 off the White Castle Value Menu last week, is back in the news, and no, he’s not trying to pull a Pippen. One month after ex-girlfriend Candace Cabbil filed a $200 million lawsuit against him for not sharing his wealth—and after being charged with third-degree assault, obstructing governmental administration, and five counts of endangering the welfare of a child—the good news continued to roll for Spree as a judge ruled that he may communicate with his children only by phone, e-mail or text message. An ETB source close to the case said Sprewell took immediate advantage of the ruling, sending “Kid #3″ a text that said “Hey, what U doin? Can I borrow $10? I’ll pay U back 2morrow 4 sure. Promise!”

Every year there are some players out there who go from decent pickups to prominent fantasy contributors down the stretch. Usually, they are young players, often rookies. It takes them a few months to learn the system, to get their coach’s confidence and to adjust to the speed of the NBA game. There are also injury fill-ins who just needed more playing time to achieve fantasy relevance. I don’t see anybody on the Heat who will explode now, but Dorell Wright and James Posey should see a nice influx in playing time and offensive opportunities. Jason Williams and Gary Payton started last night, so keep them in mind, too. I don’t like Posey, but Wright has a chance to be a fantasy contributor with his size and athleticism on the perimeter. Between Payton and Williams, Williams obviously has the higher upside, but I don’t see either holding up if they’re asked to carry too much of the load.

We’ve already mentioned some of our favorites in this space, so here are a few guys we haven’t talked about, but have our eyes on:

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Well, well, well… it seems that our assertion about financial problems being a possible reason for Scottie Pippen’s comeback might be accurate after all. Lacy J. Banks at the Chicago Sun-Times reports that Pippen owes U.S. Bank $5.021 million from a dispute stemming from a private jet and company Scottie once owned:

Pippen said the charter-plane issue is one of many poor business decisions that were made primarily by a former agent, whom he blames for causing him to lose about $27 million in bad investments and questionable accounting. Pippen sued his former law firm in 2005, claiming he had been swindled, but he lost the case.

In terms of the plane, court documents claimed Pippen was using charter planes so often in 2001, when he was playing for the Portland Trail Blazers, that a pilot persuaded him to consider buying his own jet. Consequently, Pippen and his wife, Larsa, borrowed $4.375 million from an aircraft finance company, JODA LLC, in the St. Louis area.

Folks, that’s not a typo—Pippen is responsible for $27 million worth of bad investments! You’d think that after losing a cool, say, $13 mil he’d back off investing in such can’t-miss ventures as edible deodorant, Crystal Pepsi, stone-washed jeans, and Zubaz. And the twin-engine corporate jet this random pilot convinced him to buy? Apparently there’s no proof that Pippen even got around to using it. Scottie, I have $6 and some loose change burning a hole in my pocket… I’d love to hear your ideas on how to spend it.

Congrats to Indianapolis Colts running back Dominic Rhodes, owner of the most talked about pissy leg in the sportsworld today. Deadspin has picked up on this little smile-inducing detail about Rhodes’ recent arrest for a DUI:

After failing two field-sobriety tests, Rhodes told Hafez he had consumed two or three alcoholic drinks. While sitting in the police car’s front seat, Rhodes urinated on himself, the report said.

We’re dying to know how Officer Hafez handled the situation: did he sop up the urine with a few thin Dunkin Donuts napkins? Did he wipe it off with that old “Indianapolis Colts, AFC South Champions 2005″ sweatshirt in the trunk? Or did he make Mr. Rhodes “just slide over a bit” and soak it up with his already damp jeans?

Empty the Bench is foaming at the mouth with the prospect of wildebeast-with-pads Laurence Maroney assuming full-time duty as starting running back for the New England Patriots next season. After racking up an impressive 745 yards rushing, 194 yards receiving, and 7 touchdowns in his rookie season while splitting carries with Corey Dillon and battling a few nagging injuries, it appears that Dillon is about ready to call it a day and allow Maroney to assume his rightful throne as fantasy running back stud:

“I think more of my health, how I envision myself five, 10 years down the road,” [Dillon] told the Globe. “I don’t want to be broken down, not able to play with my kids. Football is the furthest thing on my mind right now. I may wake up and feel the itch and decide I still want to shake it, but as of now, I doubt that will happen.”

HOT—one less running back timeshare fantasy owners have to worry about next season. ETB has been watching Maroney since his days at the University of Minnesota, when even then he had to share carries with another fantasy-stats monster you may have heard of, Marion Barber III. With Maroney now in line to get the lion’s share of carries in the New England backfield, watch out. He’s a big, powerful guy that’s deceptively fast (he returned kicks for the Pats in his rookie season) and knows how to find open field. He’s a lot like the Rams’ Stephen Jackson, and honestly, we think he has Jackson-type potential eventually.

As for the ’07 season, expect double-digit TDs and 1,200+ yards if Dillon is gone. Unless something drastic happens at the top of your fantasy draft, he won’t slip past the 2nd round.

Usual Suspects Pinky, Inky and Clyde Also Rounded Up

The Associated Press is reporting that local authorities have seized $81,000 in cash-money from the hotel of a promoter responsible for the nightclub incident involving Adam ‘Pacman’ Jones over All-Star weekend. Mr. Jones was showering more than 40 female strippers at the club with money, but apparently it was only intended for “visual effect.” I don’t know what kind of nightclub it is where you can’t pour bags of money on the floor and expect it to be returned in an orderly fashion, but I guess they don’t call it Sin City for nothing.

Pacman Jones (Pictured right, gorging himself on an array of exotic fruits and gourmet dots), also lost two wrist watches at the event, but the jewelry was found with a garbage bag of money at the hotel of promoter Chris Mitchell. After Jones dumped the money on the floor, the ensuing struggle for the cash caused a brawl to break out, and was also the cause of the subsequent shooting reported earlier here at ETB. Some other highlights from the event include:

Later, a woman identified as a member of Jones’ group fought with one of the strippers and security tried to break up the fight, it says. Jones told the guards to back off and reached behind his back “as if he were retrieving a weapon there.”

Jones’ entourage was moved outside, but the woman continued to fight, according to the warrant filed Wednesday in Clark County District in Las Vegas.

The woman hit a guard in the head with a champagne bottle and “began biting and screaming” when other guards tried to restrain her, the warrant says. Minutes later, a valet told police he heard shots fired near the front entrance and saw a black man with corn rows in his hair pointing a black semi-automatic handgun, it says. The man then fled.

Good times. According to the AP, “Police have described the suspected shooter as last seen wearing a black shirt and blue jeans.” They also went on to say that he was likely an adult male, medium sized, normal height with hair of regular length, probably brown. The officer in charge of the investigation issued an APB for the suspect in question, as well as for a box of those Girl Scout cookies he likes. You know the ones, they have coconut or something in them. They’re impossible to find this time of year.