Empty the Bench

We know it, you know it, a crying shame that former NBA cad Latrell Sprewell didn’t: when Kevin McHale offers you a 3-year, $21 million contract to make token appearances off the bench for an NBA franchise, you take the $21 million… even if it means your paltry salary will only allow you to feed your family a steady diet of prime-cut filet mignons, donuts glazed in silver, and Dom Perignon served in golden goblets. Otherwise, one day, when you break a promise to “share your life and fortune” with your girlfriend, you might end up owing her $200 million.

Sprewell, shown here regretting his decision to eat both #2 and #6 off the White Castle Value Menu last week, is back in the news, and no, he’s not trying to pull a Pippen. One month after ex-girlfriend Candace Cabbil filed a $200 million lawsuit against him for not sharing his wealth—and after being charged with third-degree assault, obstructing governmental administration, and five counts of endangering the welfare of a child—the good news continued to roll for Spree as a judge ruled that he may communicate with his children only by phone, e-mail or text message. An ETB source close to the case said Sprewell took immediate advantage of the ruling, sending “Kid #3″ a text that said “Hey, what U doin? Can I borrow $10? I’ll pay U back 2morrow 4 sure. Promise!”

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