Empty the Bench

Yesterday, Andrew reported that Scottie Pippen is intent on resuming his NBA career this season. Quite frankly, I’m shocked. Disturbed. Dismayed. Appalled. As you recall, Mr. Pippen’s real NBA career ended rather uncermoniously during the 2003-04 season with the team he won six championship rings with, the Chicago Bulls. This followed five often painful seasons of an aging veteran clinging to past glory as a member of the Houston Rockets and Portland Trail Blazers. Yes, he spent four seasons as a Trail Blazer! Not exactly hallmark years in this future hall-of-famer’s career.

With that in mind, I’m more than a little puzzled as to why Scottie “The Headache” Pippen wants to come back over 2 years after calling it quits. As evidenced by the steady statistical decline of the man’s game, the now 41-year-old forward surely doesn’t believe he can offer the Lakers or Heat–he’s stated that he wants to play in a warm climate, surprise surprise–more than a few garbage minutes from time to time. Unless he succeeded where Juan Ponce de Leon didn’t and has located the mythical Fountain of Youth, I just can’t believe this guy truly has anything left in the tank, despite what he says about being in basketball shape.

Here’s what I think: Scottie’s wounded pride has been absolutely eating him alive the past few years. His basketball career ended in ignomy, and his short-lived broadcasting “career” was more painful than a triple root canal (aside from Stuart Scott, have you EVER seen a worse sports commentator?). So, it’s not enough to walk away from the game with six rings, 40th in total points scored, 4th in steals, 13th in minutes, 23rd in assists, etc. It’s not enough that save for Michael Jordan, he’s the most famous and beloved athlete in Chicago Bulls history (though us Pistons fans will always, and I mean always, remember him for bailing on his Bulls with a “migraine headache” in Game 7 of the 1989-90 Conference Finals). No, he watched the NBA Finals last year and saw washed-up veterans including Antoine Walker, Gary Payton, and Alonzo Mourning ride the coattails of D. Wade to win a title, and thought to himself that he could do it too.

Well, fine, Scottie. I wish you well. Best of luck. Cheers. I can’t decide whether this comeback attempt is strictly to add a seventh ring to your hand, or, just maybe, because it’s tax time and you realized that back taxes are about to catch up with you and a little extra cash is needed in the form of a veteran’s minimum contract. It surely can’t be to reseize the lofty impact you once had on the game, because that ain’t happening. It’ll be interesting to see where you land; I would think with the LA Lakers and your old coach Phil Jackson, but the Miami Heat have done a damn fine job of assembling a thoroughly unlikeable team, so I can’t count them out either. Either way, I don’t expect much, but I’ve been wrong before.